


the sexy bandits

by shakeit_dontbreakit



Series: the sexy bandits [1]
Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: 2park, Blushing, Gen, Lots of blushing, Snakes, Swearing, sassy boss jisung, sort of, strange mini boss seongwoo, zoologist jioon and bartender woojin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2018-12-12 02:59:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shakeit_dontbreakit/pseuds/shakeit_dontbreakit
Summary: Woojin is an underaged bartender that lowkey gets paid to set shit on fire, and Jihoon is a zoology major who lowkey gets paid to coo at snakes. The two introverts get caught up in each others’ orbits through harmless trickery, but it'll still take a fake ID and a wingdog in order to have a conversation louder than their blushes.





	1. ride or die

**Author's Note:**

> apparently the only thing i can write is slice of life bumbling introverted flirting
> 
> lots of swearing because i'm belligerent in real life too heeeey, unbeta'd because ride or die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sweet-looking knitwear model gets the better of a mildly-competent underaged bartender. Sparks even kind of fly.

It’s near the middle of Happy Hour  _—_ $ _5 drafts and $9 cocktails! —_ on a damp, cloudy Tuesday afternoon. Spring is beginning to fight back against the slush and dirt of late winter, but it’s still too cold to pack away the knitwear quite yet. Not that Park Woojin actually owned knitwear. Luckily his bartending uniform consisted of black on black on black, apron included. Ememoh is one of those restaurants that feels a bit too expensive, too fancy for his tastes. Then again Woojin is still underaged and doesn’t need aged barrels or crystal distilling processes when SoCo and shitty beer get the job done quite well. 

The only people at the bar are a twenty-something couple currently finishing a lager each. They’re easy enough to deal with, naturally more interested in each other than in Woojin. The young woman in the couple is concentrating on their happy hour cocktail menu and after clicking her nails rhythmically on the bartop, she nudges her boyfriend and points something out.

“What’s a Sexy Bandit?”

Woojin freezes in place. The Sexy Bandit is a new Yoon Jisung™ bourbon-based cocktail that’s ‘ _Equal parts smoky, spicy, and sweet’._ After muddling some sweet blackberries in the glass, you mix in the actual liquor and then  _—_ the kicker  _—_ you have to smoke some rosemary which can only be done with _fire_. Woojin perfected mixing the drink not two days ago. He’s got this.

With a quick nod and smirk, Woojin cracks his knuckles and explains the drink, paying particular attention to the caramel bourbon notes and benefit of the rosemary. The couple is intrigued enough to order a pair and he quickly gets to work. It doesn’t take long to whip up the beverage itself but he pauses when he finally gets to the rosemary. 

“Please lean back, things are about to heat up.” Woojin warns, his smirk widening as he ignites a culinary butane torch with an uttered, _‘boom!’_   He starts to go to work on the first of the rosemary sprigs and the couple actually claps and exclaims, ’ _ooohh’_ in that particular type of unison that only seems to come from a strongly established couple. Yeah, Woojin is killing it right now.

The bar begins to smell heavily of rosemary and smoke right as he finishes the second of the two drinks. “Two Sexy Bandits for the partners in crime!” He normally doesn’t act quite so playful at work, but today’s shift has been a good one. No order mistakes, no delays, and only one broken dish (which wasn't even his fault!)

Honestly Woojin has only been at this job for less than a month and he’s (barely) underaged to boot. He may be unable to legally imbibe with his work-hyungs, but to his credit he did just get paid to set something on fire. It’s a good day. It’s an easy Tuesday.

Woojin spends the next ten minutes bouncing between interacting with the couple who ordered the flaming drinks and polishing the wine glasses. The couple is the only two at the bar because while it _is_ Happy Hour, the price point of Ememoh is one of the highest in the neighborhood. Prices are higher, but so is the quality of food, drink, and atmosphere. It wasn’t strange to only have 6 customers in the whole establishment at this time of day. A Happy Hour on a muggy Tuesday seems like one of the safest shifts for a newbie, even one as competent as Woojin believes he is.

He's just about to fish for another compliment on the Sexy Bandits when the boyfriend of the couple mentions guiltily that there is someone at the bar  _—_ _his_ bar  _—_ that’s been waiting for service for a bit too long. _What, how._ Woojin cringes and steels himself to remedy his error.

With a quick exhale he turns to face his new customer and alarm bells go off immediately. _WARNING: there is a VERY pretty boy in the immediate vicinity. Please keep your hands to yourself and your mind out of the fucking gutter._

This kid is _attractive_. So wholeheartedly and preciously attractive that if Woojin saw him on the street he would give him a double take and inadvertently run headlong into a sign post. Mind successfully guttered, his imagination kicks in and he proceeds to daydream the situation further, to the Cute Boy rushing to his aid after he literally nuts himself on a vertical pole. Dangerous. In retrospect, Woojin will admit this is where everything went to hell. You know, right at the _very beginning_.

Woojin supposes the customer is around his own age, with warm skin and copper hair fluffing out from under a yellow beanie. He’s also wearing a thick knit maroon sweater that’s at least one size too big, rolling the sleeves up to his elbows, then unrolling it a fold or two. It's like he can't decide how he wants to style it and his little pout of concentration brings a small smile to Woojin's lips. This is a boy who not only suits knitwear but probably has a style patent out on it. Cute, pretty, soft. Woojin doesn’t know if he’s thinking about knits or this boy. Both, yeah. Both.

He already has his ID out and ready on the wooden bartop, positioned neatly between a thick paperback and a surprisingly tacky wallet. Cutely, he sits on his bar stool as though he's afraid of taking up too much space, holding his arms close to his chest and his pressing his knees together. With a few little bounces on the cushion, he begins to rotate the stool back and forth and throws quick, curious glances around his environment. His eyes catch on some of the knick-knacks around the restaurant before getting into something of a staring contest with the large taxidermy bass fish on the wall.

Woojin is still hovering out of what his mind supplies unhelpfully as  _The Danger Zone_. The young man takes one final scan of the restaurant, smiling softly to himself. He seems to come to a couple of conclusions and ends up nodding to whatever he ascertained from his observations. It's surprising but he really wants to know this kid's impression of his workplace. Normally he gives half a fuck, tops. Finally his eyes flick to Woojin's and they both snap to attention.

"Oh, hi!" He chirps, blushing for some reason and then physically retreating into himself, as though Woojin had caught him doing something incriminating instead of a rather innocent appraisal of his surroundings.

Flipping into work-mode, Woojin glides over to him with as much professional grace as possible given the fact that this new customer's fundamental cuteness has already gotten in the way of him doing his job. He thinks he's kind of succeeding at pretending to be a functional employee, actually, but he still can't seem to recall which are hands and which are feet. "Ah! Oh, um, h-hey, sorry about the wait, what can I get you today?"

It's one of the many iterations of the canned service phrase, but as it leaves Woojin's lips he wants to grab the words and stuff them back into his mouth in lieu of something cooler, something attention grabbing. Something like, _"I think you're very pretty and heads up, I'm about to facilitate your inebriation._ " Wait, that was also not good. Woojin spends too much time thinking about what he should have said  _—_ but didn’t  _—_ and how cool he can make himself seem without dancing  _—_ 6/10, tops  _—_ and forgets for the third time in five minutes that he's at work and he has _shit he has to do_ when he is at work. Like listen to the customer when he places an order the first time.

"Ah, sorry... uhm? Did you hear me?" The Cute Boy asks, waving his hands with some quick but contained theatrics. "I'd like that hard pear cider?" He's gesturing to the chalkboard on the back wall where they list what's currently on tap.

Woojin blinks a few times, shakes his head to clear it, and then nods. He needs to get away from this kid because apparently professional obligation dances out the fucking door when he so much as wiggles his fingers. This is the Danger Zone. With a forced grin Woojin goes to the back shelf and selects one of their prettier pint glasses before remembering with a self-deprecating laugh that he needs to use the frosted glasses in the beer fridge for cider. Jisung opts for a "civilized leisure" aesthetic and apparently frosted glass mugs suit his vision. In the end, something that would take him normally ten seconds to prepare took almost half a minute.

Placing the coaster on the counter with a small " _whoosh_ ", Woojin sets the cider down. The Cute Boy gives him a quick grin and a laugh of thanks before taking a deep sip. That's when Woojin remembers to check the kid's god damn ID because that is his job and it turns out he's legally required to discover that information.

Strangely, they both reach for the ID on the table at the same time  _—_ the boy, presumably, believes that Woojin wasn't going to ask for it anymore, and Woojin himself is finally trying to do his fucking job properly. Their hands don't touch because the kid is half a beat faster than him, and then suddenly Woojin is looking at his fingers. Very pretty, almost fae in elegance. Woojin loses a bit more of his mind as he realizes he has never used the word fae to describe anything in his life; this kid is dangerous, even powerful, if he's capable of wringing such poetry out of Woojin's otherwise unrefined vocabulary.

With a low laugh the customer makes a show of, 'should I give this to you?' with his eyebrows before holding the ID out for Woojin to take. Before he finally can, the pretty boy pulls it back again like a little brat teasing a dog. He's giggling quietly the whole time before eventually handing it to Woojin with a quick wink. "Cart before the horse, huh?"

"I... uh.. T-That's..." Woojin is a goddamn mess, but he's also moderately proficient at rebuttal. "That's what we invented cars for, none of us could figure which goes where."

After an embarrassing beat of silence, Book Boy laughs, but it's different than the little bubbling giggles of before. It's loud and low, a definite reversal of Woojin's expectations. “Wow, okay, _someone’s_ getting a good tip.”

Embarrassed, Woojin doesn't even read the information on the card in lieu of looking a the face in the ID picture. Fucking figures this kid would be photogenic to the nth power. He looks like he fell into a flowerbed and then proceeded to wash off the petals in a magical fairy pond. He hands it back with nothing more than a nod. And maybe a blush, whatever.

Now that Woojin has entered the Danger Zone it’s ride or die. He chooses to die. "I... Thanks...? Enjoy..."

He dips. It's reasonable, he argues, mainly because he's still a goddamn teenager and a scrappy one at that. Pretty, seemingly fragile things are remarkably intimidating to him. Especially when they’re in human male form.

Woojin goes to tend to the original couple at the bar, who cheerfully orders a second round of Sexy Bandits with a request to film the next fire display. He manages to give them a damn good show, doubling up on the firepower compared to before. Woojin hopes the boy is watching but doesn’t risk a glance to check. He'd probably (definitely, 101%) burn off his own face if he tried to impress the Cute Boy with his firebending.

After the drinks are distributed Woojin fills up a water pitcher and leaves his bar to attend to the gaggle of ladies still holding court at one of the bigger dining tables. After filling up their water with a toothy grin Woojin looks back at the Cute Boy, finally emboldened by the distance.

Looks like that thick paperback isn’t just for show. The kid is on the edge of his seat, elbows planted on the bartop with his face very close to the pages. In the 5 full seconds Woojin spies on him, he already turns a page. Woojin wonders what genre he's reading before suddenly remembering the last thing he read was a bartending handbook. It's embarrassing, probably because he's comparing himself to someone who seems to be reading a book at a bar for enjoyment. It's just fucking cute as hell. Cute and fae. What is happening to him.

After a while Woojin returns behind the bar and decides to take on the small pile of clean glasses he has to polish. This isn't a necessary task until closing, but it does allow him to work on an activity with his back to the Cute Boy. It's safe and personally embarrassing, though he doubts his customer crush has done anything but consume whatever story he chose since he had been served his cider and opened the book.

The bells at the front door alert Woojin to new customers and he hastens to finish polishing the glass in his hand before turning swiftly on his heel and giving them his focus. After a brief debate the new group of four opts to sit at a table instead of the bar, and Woojin sets them up for success with menus and waters. He hasn't looked at the boy in a while now, but it does bother him that he's actually keeping track. _Control it, Woojin, you have never been this lame_. Wrong, somehow. _You haven't been this lame since puberty._

He does a perimeter check of the restaurant as the end of his shift approaches. At the end of the patrol Woojin can't really help but side-eye the Cute Book Boy while he wipes down part of the bartop. He really is focused, eyeballs scanning back and forth over the lines quicker than Woojin thinks is healthy.

The customer has changed his position and is now sitting on the very back edge of the stool, balancing the book on the edge of the bar almost as though he was deliberately holding it at arm’s length. A dramatic part of the book, perhaps? He doesn't favor what's happening in the plot but sure as shit has to get through it? The boy starts to bounce his leg, seemingly in anticipation for wherever his words are leading him.

Then, as though instinct alerted him that he was being observed he turns his head and makes exact eye contact with Woojin, who is quite clearly doing nothing but stare at him read. Awesome. Woojin knows he's blushing but before he can look away from the borderline fictional creature seated at his bar, the boy waves his hand dramatically before wincing and indicating his empty pint of cider. He acts apologetic, as though Woojin getting him what he wants is beyond the scope of what he can ask for. Woojin nods a few too many times and hastens back to get him a refill.

Instead of just refilling his pint with cider, he buses it and selects a new, chilled glass. Woojin has just started filling up the draft again when the tap sputters and starts to gives him a spitting, bubbling rendition of their pear cider. He turns his head from the fizzy massacre at the taps to the customer with a pained face and an apologetic shrug. The customer is blushing again, and the difference between his pretty skin and his embarrassment  _—_ embarrassment? shyness? inebriation?  _—_ is both startling and beautiful. It’s like he belongs to a higher caste system, one that equates beauty with power. Power over Woojin, certainly.

"Well this isn't working out so well, is it." Woojin monotones, sighing and swirling the foamy nothing he poured.

"A shame, really. It was tasty." The kid smiles, and boy does he look young. But he can legally drink so he has to be older than Woojin himself. Probably not good business practice to refer to him as boy and kid, even in the safety of his brain. The customer purses his lips for a moment before tilting his head cutely to the left. "How about a pint of whatever won't explode?"

It's politely funny but Woojin is too mortified to comment. He just nods, fills up a glass of their summer IPA and slides it shyly across the bar to him. Now that he's again in the Danger Zone, facing him and able to see the details, Woojin starts to notice the beautiful forest for its weird leaves.

Like those large chapped lips red from nervous chewing instead of gloss. That he alone is wearing more bright colors than the restaurant actually has, and they don’t exactly _work_ together. What red hair is peeking from under his hat is actually kind of messy and there’s a flyaway lock Woojin wants to tuck into safety. Woojin feels equal parts guilty and emboldened after observing his natural physical flaws so he actually takes a glance at the book he still has tightly clasped in the hand that isn't bringing the IPA to his lips.

 _Carnivore Minds_ , it's called, and he doesn't recognize the author but there’s a tasteful picture of a grizzly bear emerging from water on the cover. He’s reading a nature book? The subtitle is _Who These Fearsome Animals Really Are_ , and while the subject matter doesn’t seem too out of this world, Woojin is struggling to equate it with this beautiful boy. This kid is no predator, he can’t be. And yet… there’s a strange gleam in his eyes as he reads about vicious animals. Who on earth is this person? Who reads natural science books alone in a bar?

To be honest, Woojin is not quite sure why he’s so spellbound by this boy. Something feels unexpected about him, or at the very least _odd._ Whatever it is, Woojin  _likes_ it, he likes the fact that he doesn't fit in here at all. He spots the bookmark the boy is using and his heart squeezes a bit as he realizes it’s a tattered, holographic Pokemon card. This isn’t weird, it’s actually very cute. But there’s something truly juvenile about this Cute Boy. His insecurity at being in the bar, his quiet playfulness, and now Woojin is putting it together with his rather childlike appearance.

It’s not _quite_ suspicious, but that’s probably because Woojin himself is quite young. Still, his heart and mind seemed to have a target lock on this boy as soon as he laid eyes on him so clearly his intuition was functioning this whole time. Apparently his Cute-o-meter is much better calibrated than his Underage Radar. From the start Woojin has been trying to piece this kid together but it’s only then that a fully formed alarm sounds: _Holy shit, did I just get played?_

No, of course not. Who would try to use a fake ID at a leisurely bar without a number of other customers or an accomplice to distract from the ploy? It’s simply not strategic. A dive bar or a bustling restaurant would have been better, because whoever is checking will have less time and be more distracted. Wait, unless this kid is _counting on_ Woojin to be thinking these thoughts, and that he might easily let his ID through because it _would_ be idiotic for someone to try anyway. So stupid a bartender would assume no one would do it and then decline to actually check the ID.

That, or he was actually idiotic but still managed to get the better of him. 

A quick rush of anxiety charges through his veins and Woojin just nods to him before turning to escape into the back of house. If this customer played him it is simply too late. But he may actually be of age, who knows. Plus, potentially having to kick this pretty boy out of his bar seems more harrowing than Woojin simply getting the boot for incompetence.

He's only a few steps away from fleeing the Danger Zone but with one stride left the door to the kitchen opens aggressively in his face. Wooijn jumps back from the door reflexively to avoid getting hit only to see Jisung in clear distress, carrying four too many bottles of Riesling. Woojin doesn't hesitate to grab half of the bottles from Jisung's hands with a small coo of, "you'll break merchandise like that, hyung."

Jisung laughs his thanks before shooting him a wide smile. "Thank you kindly, baby bartender. Can't even drink and you're already, rightly telling me off. And here I'm pretty sure that's my prerogative? Yeah, it's def  _—_ EH? Jihoonie?"

"Hyung?" returns the soft but low voice of the Book Boy. Woojin freezes in place. Jihoonie? Jisung knows the guy who… uh...

"YOU ARE UNDERAGE, CHILD." Jisung cries out.

Well, there it is.

Jisung barely remembers to deposit the burden of the wine bottles before flying to face the Book Boy over the bar counter. "Your mom is going to eviscerate me. She’ll put me through a paper shredder. Your mom will human-shred me! Please don't eat any dubious meat from her for a few months, just in case." Jisung pauses, looking at Jihoon with narrowed eyes. “You are in _trouble_ , Park Jihoon.”

Jihoon, for his part, is slowly shifting into huffy aegyo. He starts from mirth and phases neatly into activated cuteness with the fluidity of a dimmer switch. Woojin wishes he had a pout of that caliber. It might help him out right now considering he’s totally, totally fucked. Woojin has served a minor. He happily and awkwardly served a child. His initial impulse of considering Jihoon to be the same age of him seems to mock him now, considering he let him push a bogus ID through sheer cuteness.

Is it wrong that he's not even mad? Sure, he could lose this job and at worst Jisung could lose his liquor license, but to Woojin it seems like these two know each other through more than casual acquaintance. There may be a chance he can let them destroy both each other and the evidence of his misdeed, allowing Woojin to dance out of this clusterfuck with a full health bar. Yeah, sure, that sounds right: make sure his customer crush and beloved boss fight each other to the death.

"Hyung please, remember your blood pressure." Book Boy Jihoon chastises Jisung softly. "You own this place..." He glances to Woojin quickly, who has nothing else to do right now but blush. Jihoon shoots him with a different gaze than he has seen so far from him, this one calculated and teasing. Almost as though he were trying to rope him in as an accomplice. "That would make you liable for the misadventures of your staff. I don't... ah..."

Woojin feels a prick of professional anxiety again, at Jisung being in trouble for him not doing his job properly. Somehow the guilt is overpowered by the fact that this unreasonably cute conboy actually dropped 'misadventures’ in conversation like it was normal.

Jisung sends Jihoon a glare so withering all the plants in the restaurant probably died right there. "You don't _what_ , baby barthief?"

To Woojin's immense relief Jihoon has the decency to look abashed, but it doesn’t feel wholly sincere. Now that the curtain has been drawn, what Woojin had taken to be social anxiety and curious introversion was apparently a fucking con orchestrated to take advantage of him. Dressing cutely, acting nervous, _flirting with him_. Woojin reprimands himself for maybe overthinking this. He looks at Jihoon who returns his glance ambivalently before smiling so minutely Woojin doesn't know if it really happened. Dangerous.

"I don't think your bartender is culpable for you not training him properly."

Jisung has been winning this interaction through sheer bravado and while Jihoon can't seem to compete with Jisung's gravitas, it doesn't seem like he needs to. Not when he can back up the quiet fire in his eyes with a reasonable legal defense and a high vocabulary. It contradicts both his fictional appearance and the book about apex predators he has been devouring for the last hour. This Jihoon doesn’t make sense, but it’s looking like Woojin is developing a crush on every single form this boy is taking.

"Park Jihoon, you are no longer my favorite cousin."

"Don't give me that, we all know you don't care much for Sungwoon-hyung.”

“I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW Sungwoon and I have been getting along quite well recently. You have been supplanted, Jihoonie. Say bye-bye to our shopping trips, so-long to my worldly advice, and a fucking farewell to our Harry Potter marathons.”

Jihoon scoffs, furrowing his brow cutely. “Yeah yeah, I’m _sure._ No one else in our entire family will suffer through your British accent, hyung. HP is still on the table and you know it.”

“Fine! You’ll have to wear the replica Slytherin Locket the whole time, you little _—_ ”

“What, _snake?_ ”

"AH! You're _cousins_." Woojin realizes aloud, drawing the gaze of both of them in horror movie-level unison. Woojin gulps. "Jisung-hyung, I'm... I'm sorry I didn't manage to verify his ID as real, fucking yikes. This really, only my fault. I understand if _—_ "

"NOPE." Jisung interrupts quickly at the same time Jihoon cries out, "No!"

Well so much for that. He tried. If he were any redder he might ascend from the concept of humanity and become part of the color spectrum. Jihoon is now smirking but is still holding his upper body stiffly in what Woojin can now tentatively identify as obstinate pride. Yeah, this kid is _definitely_ a Slytherin. They make eye contact for half a heartbeat before looking away in opposite directions.

"Jihoonie, give me the ID." Jisung mutters darkly, holding out a dainty hand across the bar. He's brimming with something, but Woojin can't tell if it's annoyance or embarrassment. Jihoon worries his bottom lip between his teeth and Woojin is still staring at his lips when Jihoon sighs with quiet drama before reaching into his bag for his wallet. A deft second later Jihoon holds his card neatly between his pointer and middle fingers. This draws Woojin's gaze to his hands again, as Jisung takes the card with a loud scoff.

There are a few similarities between Jisung and Jihoon, but he would never have noticed if he hadn't been told they were related. They both have a theatrical flair though Jihoon's seems subtler, more contained than Jisung's particular brand of gag comedy. They both have a stubborn streak, too. And if Jihoon's under-aged foray into illegal identification means anything, they share a certain... naughtiness?

Jisung inspects Jihoon's fake ID with a scrunched face before spotting an incongruity less than two moments into his appraisal. "Wow, seriously? This is... you really think this toddler right here is 24 years old?"

Well when you put it like that... Woojin just sputters and taps the sides of his legs rhythmically. Whoops.

Jisung turns the card over and laughs without humor. "Oh man, Jihoonie, who did you get to make this ID for you? Did they laminate this two decades ago? Sho-o-ody craftsmanship. Why, when I was getting my first fake _—_ ”

"You're being pretty hypocritical hyung." Jihoon interjects, pouting. "Everyone gets a fake, you even told me to get one."

"I never got caught though. That's how good my IDs were."

"I was only caught because you were here!"

"Well shit, why did you come here to drink if you knew I WORK HERE?"

"I asked auntie for your work schedule! You're not even supposed to be here today."

"You mean you conspired with my mother to drink illegally?"

"Yes, and she said you were supposed to be at uncle Seokhoon’s birthday today. Which you skipped, apparently."

“Yeah, well, so did you.”

“I didn’t RSVP! You did, hyung, auntie even said you said you’d be bringing your Margarita Slush! God, talk about a bad influence…”

The more this proceeds, the more Woojin can't figure out how it will resolve. They're not really talking to him anymore. Jihoon wanted a couple of pints and put together either a completely idiotic or quietly genius scheme to get them. Jisung apparently picked up a shift in order to avoid a familial obligation and only caught Jihoon accidentally. And Woojin?

Woojin is still sitting pretty in the Danger Zone but this time Jihoon has leaned over from his spot at the wheel, pushed the shotgun door open, and is beckoning him in to ride along like the cutest kidnapper he's ever seen. Ride or die. "Yeah, Jisung-hyung why are you here? You're not scheduled until  _— mphff!_ "

Jisung interrupts his betrayal with a quick hand over his mouth. He waves a chastising finger at Jihoon before turning to Woojin. "I'm picking up Minhyun's shift. Normal! Behavior! And shame on you baby bartender, you've sided with larceny."

_Shame on me, I sided with your adorable cousin._

"It's not larceny if I'm paying, hyung." Jihoon mutters darkly behind a large sip of his pale ale. He gives Woojin a small conspiratorial wink, which he attempts to return but it probably comes out as more of an aneurysm.

"ID forging is pretty much identity theft, which happens to be... you know,  _theft_. God, the family should have never let you hang out with me. I trained you too well. Misdirection and mischief and that's not even to mention your _face_." Jisung covers his eyes dramatically, shaking his head. "You didn't need to learn anything from me when apparently you can just smile at my bartender and _get everything you want anyway_."

"Am I fired?" Woojin asks quietly, interrupting Jisung's lamentations with a raised hand. "I can be fired. I mean, he... huh." Woojin shoots Jihoon a glance but that was a bad idea because Jihoon's biting his lower lip and playing with his hands as though he only just realized the effect his scheme might have on everyone else around him. If there weren't a bar separating them Woojin would probably grab his hands to stop the fidgeting. Fuck this, he should be  _angry_ with Jihoon for tricking him. He totally conned him, no question, and here's Woojin wondering how best to comfort him. 

It's surprising but Jihoon owns up to it. "I ended up taking advantage... Please don't fire him, I bet he's normally great at his job! This is a... it's an object lesson...? I'm sorry, hyung, you weren’t going to be here and I thought pretend normalcy would win out over busyness so… well clearly I didn’t factor in you maybe _being_ here, god. I’m not an idiot… you’re not an idiot, and he’s not either, like, at all. It's not his fault and this shouldn’t have happened. Oh my god, I’m sorry."

"He's even younger than you, Jihoonie," Jisung sighs, clapping a hand on Woojin's shoulder and tugging him closer. "He doesn't have the life experience to handle you and your _—_ " Jisung gestures jazzily at him, " _—_ _sparkle_."

Jihoon scoffs at the offhand compliment and opts to drain the rest of his beer. Without another word he tosses twice as much cash as needed on the counter and hops off his stool. He starts to speak while packing away his book and wallet. "I'm leaving, and before you run and call your mom know that she sanctioned this and that she’s going to side with me." He nods to himself before nudging the cash on the table closer to Jisung. "Look, money for you! The tip is _his_ though."

With one final huff, he turns on his heel and makes to leave the bar but five steps from the door he twists around again to walk slowly backwards. "I'm sorry again baby bartender, but I'm glad you’re the one who served me. I'll see you later!"

And with a twinkle of the bell above their front door, the storm passes. Woojin will see him later? Was that just a canned response or does Jihoon actually think he's going to come here again? There’s a tense heartbeat before Woojin immediately makes a break for the kitchen, avoiding Jisung’s inelegant attempt to throttle him.

"PARK WOOJIN, I WILL EAT YOU ALIVE, GET BACK HERE!”

  


	2. laser-guided missile defense system

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this installment the introverts collide again through orbital decay, though not without the aid of a goofy shift manager and a sparky wingpuppy. Woojin gets schooled on serpents and Jihoon accidentally/purposefully lets his guard way down, maybe enough to agree to a d-a-t-e

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jihoon is a mighty nerd 
> 
> woojin is surprisingly cool
> 
> There is a dog.

It's a strangely warm Thursday evening and Park Jihoon is an hour and a half away from ending his shift at Ongnimals, the family-owned pet store on the fringe of his university campus. In the dark, damp storage room standing tiptoed on a low footstool, he strains to reach a mid-sized wire cage on the top of one of the shelving units. There's a verifiable din of crickets and grasshoppers chirping away and it grows louder as Jihoon starts disturbing their shelves. He's not after the crickets, though, he's got his eyes on bigger prey.

His fingers finally manage to grab on the cage and he gingerly brings it to his chest before stepping down slowly. In the cage there’s a small food bowl and water dispenser, an uneven bedding of soft wood chips, and 6 live white mice. Jihoon navigates the clutter of the back room and quickly places the cage on the only available flat space in the messy room _—_ the top of their beer stocked mini fridge, it's a very chill work environment _—_ and rifles through some boxes to find a spare mesh bag.

Taking a step back, he leans down to put his face near the plastic of the mice cage. They're starting to get riled up and Jihoon always wonders if they've learned by now that when their cage moves, two of them will inevitably be taken away. Reasonably, the six of them could organize and attack his hand as he reaches in. They won't though, rodent social structure hasn't evolved to support an improvised, coordinated defense. Yet.

With a small emboldening huff Jihoon rolls up his sleeves and takes the lid off the container, watching the mice start their individual escape maneuvers. It's almost too easy for him to scoop up the smallest as it stumbles over the food bowl on its attempt to get to the corner. He quickly deposits it into the sack before picking it up to stop him from crawling out. The second mouse takes a bit longer, but Jihoon manages to successfully corner the largest one and scoop him into the bag as well. He tightens the drawstrings before putting the lid back on the cage.

Jihoon glances to his watch and jumps a bit, realizing he has to feed Ekans and Arbok in the next twenty minutes or risk messing up their natural rhythms. Seviper, a Fancy Ball Python, was fed last week and won't show signs of needing to do so for a day or two. He leaves the storage room _—_ though not without bidding farewell to the remaining live creatures inside _—_ and beelines directly to the reptile room. It's relatively near closing time and there are currently no customers poking around the cold blooded creatures. That's always better for Jihoon, who never likes feeding them when there's a alarmed audience watching his every move. He’s more likely to be spooked by the humans than by the serpents.

Ekans and Arbok are both Corn Snakes, though Arbok is darker and at least 3 inches longer. Their cages are large, placed right next to each other and nuzzled in between the tarantula and a couple of horned lizards. Beyond that they have numerous species of amphibian, a few more spider types, and diverse selection of lizard breeds. Oh, and Seviper the Sweetheart. Jihoon is the only one responsible for feeding everything in this room, not necessarily because the rest of the staff are squeamish but because Jihoon genuinely enjoys their presence and being a part of their lives. He actually has Snake Charmer listed as a special skill on his resume, for what good it will do.

Opening up Ekans' cage, he coos lightly at the snake as it uncoils at the disturbance. "Winner winner rodent dinner!" He sings softly, deftly grabbing the smaller of the mice from the bag and dangling it by its tail above the cage. Ekans lifts his head, tasting the air with his tongue. Jihoon watches the muscles of his body shift until it's clear he is a few moments from striking the mouse directly. Before he can do so, Jihoon drops the mouse and cheers quietly as he grabs it in his wide jaws before it even hits the terrarium floor.

Once Ekans’ cage door is properly shut, Jihoon turns to Arbok. She's not a cobra like her namesake, but she is at some level a more advanced specimen and it made sense to Jihoon to name her after Ekans' evolution. Another aspect of Jihoon more or less owning the reptile room is that he gets to name them. There's a clear Pokemon theme, and he tells Seongwoo it’s in an attempt to make them seem less scary to the masses, when _really_ it’s just because he’s played through every generation of Pokemon to date. Don’t even get him started on ideal Elite 4 lineups.

Watching Arbok uncoil slowly, Jihoon wonders if he should switch out Espeon for Umbreon in his elite Soul Silver Squad. It’s not exactly a _bad_ idea, considering Umbreon has the Sp. Def of a minor God, and the fragility of his Espeon has really been biting him in the ass with his last playthrough. He could A/B test it, at the very least. Arbok is now paying attention to Jihoon, so he begins to fish for the final mouse in the bag.  

A puppy barks loudly somewhere in the store, and he hears the owner curse under his breath before uttering a quick, _"_ _Ah, get back here!_ "

Jihoon has the large mouse cradled in his hands and is about to take it by its tail when a red husky puppy tears around a corner and into the reptile section. It pauses for a moment to take in its new surroundings before tearing lopsidedly towards Jihoon. He has a squirming mouse by the tail by now, a lidless snake cage in front of him, and now a puppy nipping at his heels. Still, Jihoon would be lying if he said he hadn’t been in worse multi-species showdowns before.

"Yah, where did you _—_ god damn it, Yoomi!" The dog's owner finally rounds the corner, flustered, and Jihoon almost drops the mouse on the dog in his shock. It's the tan, stuttering young man from Jisung's bar. Baby bartender. Snaggletooth. The one he... took advantage of? Temporarily but successfully conned? Finessed a shit-poor quality fake ID through both of their blushes? Yeah, it’s him, it’s very difficult to forget those eyes. And then the snaggletooth and the quick smiles. Ah, oh, so he may have a bit of a crush.

The baby bartender is only looking for his dog, and collapses slightly in relief when he finds her chewing happily on Jihoon's mismatched shoelaces. Jihoon holds both his breath and his mouse. He somehow manages not to laugh at how slowly it takes the young man to look from the puppy at his feet, up his legs and torso, and finally to this face.

Baby bartender’s expression flips from relief to quick focus as he finally ascertains that he is dealing with none other than his baby barthief. They hold eye contact for a bit longer than Jihoon recalls ever having with a stranger, and he can’t help but draw in a quick breath and nibble his bottom lip. The recognition is mutual here, and the part of Jihoon that isn’t currently rebooting can’t help but cheer for it.

"Ah, _you_..." The boy gapes and he blushes before his eyes find the mouse still dangling from Jihoon's fingers. "... are you feeding that snake?"

"I work here." Jihoon states blandly, still rebooting. He uses the hand not holding a rodent to grab at the employee nametag on his shirt. Why is his heart beating faster right now, this is not the time. It's a real reversal of Jisung's bar adventure in that this person is managing to fluster Jihoon at his workplace. Only this time baby bartender (probably?) isn’t going to try to steal anything. "I feed things to other things. You know, pet store…? Can I just...?"

Instead of waiting for the boy's permission, Jihoon shifts his feet so the puppy can get at a different shoe before he turns back to his task. Arbok is already uncoiled and slowly raising her head toward the opening of the cage. She can taste the mouse in the air and seems a few long moments away from snatching at it.

There are a lot of things happening around Jihoon at once, and the most incapacitating is surprisingly the only other human in the room. So, because it happens to be his job, Jihoon drops the struggling mouse into the eagerly waiting jaws of an oversized Corn Snake.

He and the bartender both watch in silence as Arbok consumes her meal. The boy eventually lets out a small, _“_ _Oooh…”_ Soon there are only two limply kicking hind paws and Arbok rolls over and curls up again to begin her digestion process.

Jihoon can't help but coo an "eat well!" despite his company, and bends to pick up the puppy at his feet before even looking at the baby bartender. The pup squirms in his arms for a bit before calming down in lieu of licking his collarbones. He doesn't miss how the bartender blushes at this, especially when Jihoon decides to go for gold and drags his shirt down more to give the husky access to his skin.

"It's you." He says lamely. "Jihoon, right?"

Snaggletooth is dressed in what Jihoon might call athleisure, with too-large a black t-shirt and too-small black sweatpants of the same brand, paired with a well-worn pair of red and black sneakers. He has a sports bag slung over his shoulder, and holds a leash and harness loosely in one hand. Jihoon remembers him with dark red hair, but he must have dyed it because now it’s a dark, ashy blonde. It’s grown a bit and hangs windswept and sweaty over his eyes. Sports maybe? He looks like he has a soccer build, with that smaller frame and lithe muscle. 

"Yeah, I'm Park Jihoon. Jisung's cousin..." Jihoon responds, nuzzling the puppy for a moment as it tries to lick his cheeks. "The... you know. He who was dramatically disowned."

Baby bartender laughs and Jihoon cheers internally. It’s a good laugh, coming out in repeated choppy bursts. Jihoon likes getting reactions out of him and he doesn't even know his name. He's about to ask when the bartender clears his throat. "You didn't get in trouble, did you? Like with your family?"

Jihoon is kind of surprised he asked and there’s no question that Snaggletooth doesn’t notice. Jihoon powers through."Oh, no, of course not? Our family is a little more... er... unrestricted than some. Jisung-hyung was the only one who threw a fit, not because he cared but because apparently I got the better of him. I still think it was a tie, but hey."

Jihoon laughs to himself at the memory before realizing he can explain it further since this man actually knows his cousin. "Just hyung's trademark brand of huffing and puffing, with a touch of alliteration that makes his whining more palatable. _'_ _Your baby barthief blasted through my best bartender!'_ The rest of the family shamed him in my defense, I don't know why. I was in the wrong."

"Have you gotten a better ID yet?" He asks, avoiding Jihoon's eyes but still taking a few steps towards him. Probably more towards his dog, not Jihoon, but a boy can hope.

"Hah, oh, no. I think our little adventure marks my first and last foray into that nonsense." Jihoon laughs, and holds out the boy's puppy for him to take. "It's easy enough to get people to buy liquor for me, you know? I'm sure you know, you're even younger than me..?"

Jihoon hasn’t forgotten any of the interactions from before. Jisung mentioned and implied Snaggletooth was good at his job, sweet, responsible, and younger than Jihoon. When he first tried his scheme at Ememoh he had been subtly watching the bartender and assumed immediately that he was older than himself. By one or two years at least. That’s why he went for the Insecure Little Baby angle instead of some kind of same-age camaraderie con.

He knows he is in fact an insecure little baby though, so if he considers his actions then compared to his standard behavior… Jihoon was actually more or less acting as himself. He hadn’t even _lied_ either, not really. This is weird, this is really weird.

The bartender doesn’t seem to care that Jihoon has been snuggling his dog this whole time, and accepts her from Jihoon before slinging her over his shoulders like most would with a particularly docile cat. The puppy, so energetic in playing with Jihoon, relaxes over his shoulders and yawns. It's cute, it's very cute, and honestly if Jihoon were to prescribe a dog for the baby bartender it would have probably been a husky anyway. After scratching his dog behind the ears, he looks straight at Jihoon.

"Well, I didn't actually manage to check your ID, so who knows if I'm the younger one."

Jihoon takes half a step back at the sudden strength behind his words. It’s definitely a challenge. "99. May 29th." He responds reflexively, raising an eyebrow.

"November 2nd. Half a year isn't worth shit." He responds, crossing his arms with good humor. His puppy huffs with perfect timing and Jihoon can't help but bark out a laugh.

"I think your dog agrees."

"She tends to."

The boy smiles toothily, and Jihoon gets a good glimpse of that snaggletooth he’s come to look forward to. Tan, cute, snaggletooth, same age. Now dog-owner. That’s all he has to go on, but Snaggletooth is really collecting some kudos for how sweetly he treats his dog. A good sign. Of what, Jihoon doesn’t really want to consider because it would be ridiculous. They are strangers, albeit strangers with something of a memorable experience together.

It's been a good month since he ran away from Jisung's bar, but whenever he dwells on the memory he seems to remember baby bartender's quiet support more than Jisung's noise. More than the plot of his book, even. With a jolt he realizes he hasn't been actually keeping up in this conversation. "Did you get in any trouble? Jisung-hyung is all bark no bite, but, you know, sometimes he bites. Also I've been referring to you as baby bartender in my head, what's your actual name?"

Jihoon berates himself for his compound questions, and on top of that this guy remembered his name and asked how he fared after his transgression within the first few beats of their interaction. In this same space of time Jihoon fed a live mouse to a snake and picked up a dog that didn't belong to him. Not cool. "Sorry, this is all out of order, isn't it?"

To his great relief, the boy smiles softly and looks to his feet. His ears are red. "No, no. Well, yes it is. Cart before the horse, right?"

"Cars." Jihoon can't help but lamely skip to the end of their bad inside joke.

He laughs, enough to dislodge his dog. He plops her on the ground with a low hum.  "Cars indeed. But, yeah, I'm Park Woojin. 99 line, apparently half a year younger than you. Jisung didn't fire me or anything, but I do have to pay his pay his bartab for the next week." His laugh is scratchy and sincere.

"Well that's not too bad." Jihoon says, eventually coming to match Woojin's incredulous stare. "Oh wait, he's a 'fancy cocktails or death' sort. That might get expensive."

Woojin laughs and bends down to wrestle his puppy into its harness. It doesn't work well, because the pup apparently wants to get at Jihoon again now that she's grounded. After a quick laugh Jihoon crouches down to hold the squirrelly husky while Woojin takes advantage of the distraction and fastens the harness. Their teamwork is more fluid and coordinated than Jihoon wants to think about right now. Woojin wrinkles his nose and bites his lip just enough for the snaggletooth to sneak out, and Jihoon doesn’t know what to do but hold his breath. They’re close now, no bar separating them this time.

"Thanks," Woojin finally mutters, smiling at his dog before looking up at Jihoon. Jihoon has been staring. "What."

"Your dog is very cute." Is Jihoon's lame response, especially when he actually meant to add, _and you are very cute_.

"Pakkie Jihooni~ie!" Someone sings loudly from the front of the store, causing them both to jump in shock. It's Seongwoo, the store owner's eccentric son/de facto shift manager. "If you're done feeding the slitheries and attempting to flirt, we need to talk stock."

Horror-stricken, Jihoon leaps to his feet but he still can't draw his eyes from Woojin still crouched below him. Now that you mention it, he's crouched with very good access to _—_ no, what? Work, he's at work. Woojin smiles through a blush and Jihoon takes a few unstable steps back to the snakes. The snakes are safe, they are the safest space he knows. He grabs the empty mouse bag and bows quickly to Woojin. Almost on impulse he gives another, quick bow to the dog. "I have to go do my job, but it's been nice to see you, baby bartender."

He starts to jog out of the reptile room, but pauses when Woojin calls back at him. "You too, baby barthief."

Jihoon blushes but throws him a wave as he turns the corner. Once he’s sure Woojin can’t possibly see him, he stops in his dash and lets out a long, quiet breath. Holy fucking shit. Jihoon shakes his body out and jumps in place a few times before nodding strongly and proceeding on his way.

To be honest it’s been awhile since Jihoon has reacted this much to another human. He likes non-human animals, he likes plants, he likes video games and anime, he likes fantasy novels and clouds and street dancing. He does not actually like humans that much. But Woojin seems to be a pretty good human. At least a very cute one.

After maneuvering around a haphazard stack of dog couches, Jihoon can see Seongwoo idly clicking the mouse on their (very) old desktop. He's making some sort of beat with the loud clicks, so Jihoon knows before he even reaches him that Seongwoo isn't actually doing work. "What's up, hyung?"

Seongwoo looks up quickly, a peculiar expression paired with an extravagantly raised eyebrow. "I interrupted something?"

A few images flick through his mind at this. Woojin, holding a long jet of flame to a sprig of rosemary needles with satisfied, charismatic eyes. Woojin, slinging his dog around his shoulders with a whisper to her before standing squarely to face him. Woojin, staring up at him from the floor. Jihoon absolutely has to lie to Seongwoo otherwise he might burst into flames. "No, no, just helping someone leash a dog. What do you need, hyung?"

"We don't need to talk stock, I just said that because it rhymed." Seongwoo has no shame in admitting this. "I need to get out early, though. Daniel has something strange planned tonight because it's his first night off in a while. For once I haven't exerted any effort into ruining my own surprise." He slouches more in their front-desk chair, beginning to rotate on it slowly. "He says dress for adventure, and that could mean a thousand different things in this day and age. Are we VRing? Are we physically going somewhere? The sky is the limit here, sooo I'd like to dip out early, maybe buy a utility belt? A Swiss Army Knife?”

Jihoon has been pouting without any malice, but he smiles as Seongwoo continues to yammer on about his boyfriend. It’s quite obvious to him that Seongwoo’s complaining about Daniel translates directly into Seongwoo being head over heels for him. Daniel comes into the store often, even takes some (probably unpaid) shifts for Seongwoo sometimes. He always brings treats when he visits, too, so he is A-okay in Jihoon's book.

"Utility belt, totally. Maybe a hatchet?" Jihoon ventures, leaning on his elbows on the counter to smile widely at his boss. "Rope, you always have to have rope! And sunscreen. Good call on the knife. And of course I can cover you. I’m sure you can make a stylish adventure outfit, though, you’re good at that. Better than me, that's for certain.”

Seongwoo eyes him oddly, angling his neck severely before snapping back to something resembling normal. "Aren’t you chatty today. Nervous, maybe?”

The answer is yes, but like hell Jihoon will give him that satisfaction.

“Just trying to help! I’m sure Daniel-hyung will make it worth your while no matter what you wear.” Jihoon notes he’s smiling too much. After shaking his hair out, he can manage a slightly more serious face. Seongwoo looks like he wants to pursue the matter of his nerves for a moment before he remembers he’s on a time crunch.

“Thanks, Jihoonie. But _what_ is the adventure? Annoying and cute and very cute." Seongwoo spins a full 360 degrees in his chair before stopping the movement with a small slap on the counter. "Cool, I'll be gone then. Give you more time to play with that cute dog back there." The suggestive eyebrow wagging implies he isn't talking about the canine.

Jihoon wants to smack him for this but ends up stumbling determinedly around the implication instead. "It's been awhile since I've seen a pedigreed husky, she's really pretty! Kind of did a number on my laces, but it's a puppy, right? Very normal behavior. Also did you see those paws? She'll definitely grow well."

Standing with a stretch, Seongwoo slings his bag over his shoulder puts a brotherly hand on Jihoon's shoulder. "I’m not talking about the dog."

"I _am_ talking about the dog." Jihoon counters, lamely. Seongwoo pats him again, salutes him, and then lopes out of the store with something of a warbling battlecry. The front door closes slowly, finally sealing with a soft click. Jihoon lets out a deep breath, taking Seongwoo's abandoned seat at the front desk. Booting up their stock sheets shows that Seongwoo had actually done the work already, which is rather nice of him. Normally when he dips out early he leaves twice as much work as should be possible.

"Not again, oh my god, you little muffin!"

Woojin is still here. Jihoon didn't forget that, not for a moment, but now they’re the lone humans in the house and his presence is the sole focus of Jihoon’s attention. The puppy, Yoomi, has apparently gotten loose from her harness again and is tearing through the store. She stops to smell things but once she makes eye contact with Jihoon she tears toward him once more and he can't help but scoop her up again. He has just successfully slung her around his shoulders (not as easy as Woojin made it seem) when Woojin trudges into view with his hands in his pockets, lacking any desire to exert energy on collecting his dog.

They make eye contact and Jihoon smiles brightly. "I may have to fight you for visitation rights, Woojin. She seems to really like me. Don’t you, little muffin?”

Finally face-to-face again, Woojin runs a hand through his hair, shuffles it, and looks at his feet. "It's kinda an inside joke actually, my friends throw the phrase around sometimes and it just slipped out. She is a little muffin though, no matter what."

"Does she keep getting out of her harness? I mean you bought that here, would you like a refund or a trade-in?" Jihoon asks, indicating the empty harness and leash. At the very least he can pretend he’s in a working mindset.

Woojin freezes, but his eye seems to twitch a bit. "No! No, it's fine, I just... I think she wanted... to hang out with you a bit. More fun than the snakes back there..."

Haha, whoa, okay, wait. _Are we complimenting each other through a puppy proxy? More importantly, did he just trash on my snakes?_

Jihoon laughs at the ridiculousness of it, but manages not to miss the beat. They're definitely flirting now, right?

"It’s brave of you to knock my snakes. They get a nightmarish rep and yeah, I get it but they evolve with their prey and no one likes to give the ecosystemic balance its due credit. They’re intelligent, enough to foster intra and interspecies rules that govern snake behavior. And that’s not even to mention that there are way more human deaths and injuries from dogs than from snakes. Like last year, dog injuries outnumbered snake injuries six times over. SIX TIMES. The human reaction to snakes is more dangerous than the snake reaction to humans, and that’s kinda fucked up, you know?”

So much for flirting. It's surprisingly hard to stay on topic when some cute little bartender comes in and tries to shittalk his snakes. No sir. On top of that Jihoon knows part of him lives for this sort of opinionated tete-a-tete, especially with attractive boys like this.

Despite the rebuff, Woojin looks surprised and somehow delighted by this information. "Wow, you really like snakes, huh?"

Slightly derailed by Woojin’s simple observation, Jihoon decides to put Yoomi back on the floor and crouches down to rub her belly. "I like all animals. But the reviled ones always need a little extra love, or they’ll be extinct before we realize." Suddenly there's something looming in Jihoon's peripherals and he jumps before seeing it's just a dog brush Woojin was handing down to him. One of the models they carry, and it still has the price tag.

"Hey, you can't use what you didn't buy!" Jihoon chastises, still taking the brush and using it on Yoomi regardless of his reprimand. She loves it. Woojin crouches down with him and Jihoon instinctively holds his breath.

Jihoon is not and never will be the touchiest person in any room. He may roll with the skinship of others but it’s always for the benefit of the person touching, not necessarily because he cared for the physical contact in the first place. He likes his space and keeps it even with his friends and family. From what he can tell Woojin doesn't seem to share his thoughts on personal boundaries but he _does_ smell like pine so it’s sort of okay.

"I did buy it. Right when I came in." Woojin’s hand finds its way behind Yoomi's ears and Jihoon concentrates the brushing on her back. Jihoon dares himself to stay put but it’s not as difficult as usual. Honestly, Woojin’s assistance at the bar and now his gentleness with his dog have put him into the _ma_ _ybe let them get close to me.docx_ file in his brain. It’s a short list. "I got the harness too. Already had the leash. Oh yeah, I got some, uh, some treats too."

In this midst of his emotional boundary battle and continued proximity to this man, Jihoon isn't exactly in the position to think this through very well. But Woojin’s story doesn't quite make sense and Jihoon is a little too out of his mind right now to politely filter his confusion. "Why didn't you leave after your purchase?”

"My dog got away."

Ah right. But…? They're more or less whispering right now. Even the parakeets at the back of the store are louder. It feels intimate, and Jihoon realizes it probably is. "Yeah, but like, after that, when I got called away."

"I kept looking around."

Is that so? Jihoon is smiling full-blast now, but he can't look up from the dog. It’s almost too embarrassing, but he still needs to get to the bottom of this even if he’s 90% sure of where it’s going. "But you already bought what you needed."

He finally looks up to see Woojin smirking at him lightly. "Well, Yoomi got out again."

"Yeah, and I can exchange that harne _—_ " He's stopped by Woojin holding up a placating hand. It turns into two fingers that he hovers in front of Jihoon’s lips, as if to silence him. It works. Jihoon waits with a raised brow until Woojin continues.

"God, you’re going to make me say it, aren’t you. Well, uh, fuck. I let her loose when your boss left so I could... I don't know, convincingly loiter. Around you. Maybe ask you… uh. Dinner?” Woojin manages, falling backward onto his hands to prop himself up. He shifts so he's sitting cross legged now, slightly out of Jihoon's superblush radius. "Sorry if that's kind of forward."

Jihoon mimics his position, sitting cross-legged instead of holding himself in a crouch. “Your dog was the forward one. She's a good wingdog, aren't you Yoomi?"

“Yeah, aren’t you, Yoomi?” Woojin repeats, bending her ears so they look lopsided and alien.

They spend a few moments petting Yoomi until she gets overwhelmed with the attention and runs back into the store again with a few short yips. This leaves Jihoon and Woojin sitting very closely on the floor, this time without another creature to distract them from each other. Jihoon’s actually feeling dizzy at this point, but he realizes he hasn’t legitimately responded to Woojin’s request yet.

“Hi, baby bartend.” Jihoon mutters, tossing his bangs out of his eyes with a blush but looking straight at Woojin.

“Hey, baby barthief.” Woojin is more in control of himself than Jihoon, it seems, because he’s no longer blushing. He’s smiling contentedly, just taking in Jihoon’s features. He starts tapping some beat on the floor, and Jihoon realizes that he’s probably waiting for Jihoon’s next move.

“You’re paying for dinner.”

Woojin freezes with his eyes wide open before nodding vigorously. “Uh _—_ heh? Really? Okay, yeah, definitely. The place has to be dog-friendly, though.” He adds suddenly. Well of course it has to be dog-friendly, Jihoon isn't a savage. “Or like, it doesn’t, we don’t _need_ to bring Yoomi. I, uh, I’m free tonight. Er, maybe not tonight, I’m kind of sweaty _—_ ” Woojin lifts up an arm to smell himself and shrugs, “well, I don’t smell, at least.”

“This weekend, then?” Fuck, Jihoon is extremely charmed. Bumbling sweetness is supposed to be _his_ weapon, what the hell.

With a series of quick nods, Woojin agrees enthusiastically before grinning from ear to ear. It’s a nice smile, a bit roguish and rough around the edges. It’s very promising, but Jihoon doesn't quite know what the promise is.

 _A date then. We’re going on a date. D. A. T. E. Date._ It feels like Jihoon’s blood is swelling. Dizzy might be a good word, but it carries a medical connotation that doesn't even come close to what's happening in his heart right now. Giddy and ready to burst. He's surprised at the intensity of the experience.

It's not to say that Jihoon doesn't fall hard when he does, but he has always erected a complicated series of mental and emotional walls that suitors _—_ and friends, and family, and strangers _—_ more or less have to overcome. Jihoon watches how and why they're attempting to get past his barriers and gets to know and appreciate them through their behavior. It's not quite fair, but no one said it had to be.

The thing is, during the Ememoh scheme Jihoon had both actively and inadvertently invited Woojin past at least 2/? barriers he can pinpoint. Jihoon himself shepherded Woojin across the _Vulnerability Moat_ by giving him his sincere apology for taking advantage of him. And just now, Jihoon found himself wanting to gush about snakes to him, meaning he was already through the _Snake Portcullis_.

On top of that, Woojin managed to clear two obstacles all on his own: learning about Jihoon's ambition for trickery only through being the victim of said trickery _(_ _Liar's Labryinth)_ , and somehow making Jihoon feel bold enough to maintain close proximity and comfortable enough to push it further _(Laser-Guided Missile Defense System_ _)_.

“Okay, it’s a date.” Jihoon mutters quietly, nodding. He scooches closer and angles himself so he’s directly facing Woojin. Their knees are _almost_ touching, and then Woojin takes initiative and nudges past the bare inch that still separates them. This is really nothing at all, but the last person Jihoon had actively touched had been Jisung during a gag slap fight and that certainly didn’t stop him from breathing like this does.

"Uh, okay! Yeah, it'll be fun, I swear. Unless you want to do something quieter? The dog-friendlier the venue, the better, but I’m going to give you precedence over my dog.” Babbles Woojin, looking at some spot above Jihoon’s head but not looking quite at him.

“Hey, we just met. She probably still outranks me."

Woojin starts to shake his head, but then ends up shrugging and instead of it being embarrassing he somehow manages to make it look _cool_.

After a small laugh, Jihoon opens his mouth to volunteer Ememoh as the place of their date but holds it back realizing that Woojin probably doesn't want to spend his money in the same place he earns it. Still, Ememoh does allows dogs in the main restaurant with a loose _Maximum Canine Capacity: threeish_ rule that they abide by. Jisung has explained this to him before. Speaking of dogs, Yoomi’s currently sniffing around the cat supplies, almost as though she were giving her owner time to chat.

"Do you have anything in mind?" Jihoon asks, playing with his fingers. Woojin notices, and raises one of his arms jerkily in some sort of aborted gesture. Probably wants to grab his hands, Jihoon realizes belatedly.

Woojin seems to have nothing, opening and closing his mouth lamely. “I… honestly I can’t think of anything past the fact that you just agreed to go out with me, sorry.”

It’s kind of like getting hit in the gut by a well-aimed compliment brick, and Jihoon covers his face with his hands with a low whine. Despite liking praise and sometimes actively seeking attention, Jihoon has never felt comfortable with surprise compliments. It’s a tricky aspect of his personality to maneuver, even for himself.

“And now I just embarrassed you, wow _—_ ” Woojin curses. Jihoon can’t see him with his hands covering his eyes, so he glances between his fingers. Woojin is beet red but he’s also moving his hands in and around Jihoon’s personal bubble, trying to figure out how and if he needs to comfort him. He’s not _that_ fragile, no sir.

Jihoon is about to attempt to save some face here, but after lowering his hands and straightening his posture the shop door opens noisily. They both snap their attention to the front door, Jihoon practically paralyzed where he sits cross-legged. It’s a winded middle-aged man with a look of panic in his eyes. Woojin is on his feet before Jihoon can put it together that this person is a customer, and he quickly grabs both of Jihoon’s hands and very easily pulls him up.

After slipping _Woojin is very strong(?)_ into a box labelled _Deal with Later_ and kicking it to the back of his mind, Jihoon turns to face the customer and determine what he might need. From his minor panic, rumpled work attire, and the fact that they’re very near closing, this is probably a husband that forgot to buy dog food and had to rush out and complete the errand before arriving home. He can handle that.

Woojin has disappeared, probably to find his dog, and Jihoon flashes the customer his brightest helpful smile.

“I need Organic Natura-brand indoor dry cat food or my girlfriend is going to murder me, I’ve been to three other places and they _don’t have it_. She definitely likes the cat more than me so I cannot screw this up.”

Okay, well switch out husband for boyfriend and dog for cat, and Jihoon pretty much called it. Yoomi barks from the back of the store as Jihoon raises his arms to calm the man. “You’re in luck, we _do_ carry Natura indoor dry food, only place in this part of town that does!” That last is a lie, but Jihoon can’t pass up an opportunity to secure some more business. “Let me grab some for you. There are two flavors to choose from right now, Chicken-Salmon or Tuna?”

Bad question for a man who clearly wasn’t told which flavor to buy. Jihoon has to raise his hands again to prevent a minor breakdown. “Let’s go with Chicken-Salmon, having more than one type of ingredient seems to taste better to indoor cats.”

With a quick bow, Jihoon walks quickly back to the cat supplies and spots Woojin (with Yoomi wrapped around his shoulders) leaning sneakily behind a shelf of cat harnesses. He’s definitely been spying on Jihoon, and shoots him an unacceptably cute double thumbs up. “So professional!” He whispers.

Aiming a small kick in Woojin’s direction at his cheekiness, Jihoon pauses when he realizes that Woojin is standing directly in front of the food he needs.

“This is ridiculous. Get out of my orbit, Park Woojin!” Jihoon whines, shaking his head before motioning for him to step aside so he can grab a bag of food. Woojin laughs and leans (not quite far enough) away with a smirk, crossing his arms over his chest.

Before Jihoon can snatch away a bag of Chicken-Salmon, Woojin slowly and surely grabs it himself, dusts it off, and very neatly hands it to Jihoon. His smirk is deepening. “Looks like even I could work here.”

“I will feed you to my snakes.” Jihoon threatens meekly. “Seviper needs to be fed tomorrow, be sure to stop in.”

"Go do your job!" Woojin has the nerve to shoo him away.

Scoffing, Jihoon hugs the food to his chest and turns swiftly on his heel. He's still grumbling a bit as he makes it back to the register and rings up the cat food. The man pays gratefully before leaving in a rush, and before the door fully closes Woojin emerges from hiding and shoots Jihoon a big guilty grin. Still at the register, Jihoon holds up the price scanner as an impromptu microphone and calls soothingly, " _Baby bartender to the register please, you seem to have forgotten your manners. Please pick them up on the way out. Baby bartender to the front register..."_

"Hey! I even helped you." Woojin pouts, finally reaching the front. Yoomi yips cutely. "Rude customer service, that's what this is."

Jihoon smiles cattishly. "And yet, I haven't let you break any laws, have I?"

After laughing at Woojin’s dumbfounded look, silence falls over them. Woojin lets Yoomi lick his fingers from where she's still perched on his shoulders. Jihoon taps out a quick beat on the counter before clapping once and wincing. "Okay, I'm sorry about this but I really do have to start closing up."

"Oh, r-right. That makes sense. Sorry for distracting you." Woojin nods with a quick smile before reaching into his sports bag for the leash. Yoomi's already harnessed so in a quick second Woojin plops her on the ground and hooks the leash around his wrist. "Hold on one second, though... where's my phone?" He begins to look through his sports bag, growing increasingly more desperate when nothing turns up. After scoffing to himself, Woojin changes tactic and takes out the folded receipt from his harness purchase. "Nevermind, can I have a pen?"

Jihoon has been watching his struggles with an amused smile and jumps at this. "Pen? Oh yeah," he tosses one over and to his surprise Woojin catches it neatly without really looking. He bends over the crumpled receipt for a second before folding it neatly and handing it to Jihoon with a shy grin. "Okay, yeah, text me when you're free. I'm not that good at responding, normally, but let's face it I'm not going to let a text sit from you for long, haha. Hah. Wow, sorry."

Rambling again. Jihoon takes the receipt with his number on it with two hands, biting his lower lip but managing to keep eye contact with Woojin. After what they've been through this evening, it's a real feat for him. "I will, I will. Now get out of here so I can close properly."

The boot isn't very harsh, and Woojin laughs before turning on his heel smoothly and walking backwards out of the store. He throws a cocky little wave as he hovers in the threshold. "See ya, Snake Boy."

"Get out of here!"

It takes a good five minutes for Jihoon’s heartbeat to slow and for his blush to recede. When it does, his first movement is to jerkily unfold the receipt with a low exhale. In small, boyish script is Woojin’s name and number, as well as a very poor doodle of a puppy.

“Ahhhh, Park Woojin, what are you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi haha i love animals cant you guys tell
> 
> comments and kudos are the quickest way to my hearteu


	3. you know, the electricity part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was all going so well. Jihoon scored a dozen favor tokens, got to talk about orca socialization with his favorite TA, and apparently joined a squad. Jihoon just wanted to know when he should text his baby bartend but the cosmos skips a few steps and brings them face to face. Or, well, face to abs. 
> 
> And then there's Woojin, who knows _exactly_ what he's doing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the aftermath of me finishing a book about predator "conservation" and more or less reeling from seeing w1 perform two meters in front of meafsdfaklew
> 
> jihoon is dealing with his feelings in this which is perfect because SO AM I.

The next day is the fourth Friday of the month. Also known as half-priced daytime admission to the city aquarium. Jihoon’s Zoology TA takes advantage of of the reduced price to take the students in his lab group on field trip there twice a semester. Jonghyun, the TA, isn’t lazy with his lab group, but the semester is ramping up for everyone so Jihoon reasons he actually needed the break as much as they did.

Jihoon always cherishes trips to the aquarium so as soon as the Jonghyun ordered them to scatter he eagerly led a few chosen labmates down into the shadowed, cavernous paths to the exhibits he likes the most. Of the dozen people in his lab group, Jihoon eventually settled into a surprisingly comfortable bounce with the unexpectedly formidable Lee Daehwi and the quietly charming Bae Jinyoung. They’re taking this class to do away with one of their compulsory science credits and because of mild interest, respectively, and despite the fact they have no intentions of continuing the major Jihoon wants to impress them. Also, probably help them pass in the first place.

He is well aware that both Daewhi and Jinyoung are no paragons of bravery in the face of creepy shit, and despite Jihoon quite liking them both (not as much as they like each other, daaaaamn) he also kind of wants to scare the wits out of them. And so he chose the electric eel den as the first stop on his curated tour.

“What!? No, no, no, Jihoon-hyung why would you bring me here? _EELS?!_ ” Daehwi screeches, wringing his hands.

Jihoon watches Jinyoung’s terror and simultaneous attempt not to show it as he wraps an arm around Daehwi’s shoulders, but Jinyoung can’t help but warily glare at the slippery creatures in the tank. After a few seconds Jinyoung reaches down and gives Daehwi’s hand a little squeeze. It’s cute, how naturally physical they are with each other. They may be dating but Jihoon doesn’t want to pry so he hasn’t asked yet. If they’re not, they sure as shit should be.

“Technically they’re knifefishes, not eels. But they _are_ the only species in their genus.” Jihoon preens. “That will answer question 3 on the first worksheet. So will, you know, the electricity part.”

The flip side of Jonghyun taking them on a field trip is that they have some research they have to be doing. Three identical worksheets, one species each. After a cursory first glance, Jihoon realized he could fill out all three without even being at the aquarium.

Daehwi and Jinyoung take advantage of the distraction to back away from the glass window looking in on the dark electric eel habitat.

“3, you said?” Jinyoung asks lightly. “Ah:  _Explain how this animal is different by contrasting it with others in the species._ Cool, thanks Jihoon-hyung!”

Jinyoung starts to fill out the question on the first sheet, leaning down to hold the paper against the nearest wall. Daehwi takes advantage of this and uses Jinyoung’s back as a table to write. “Thanks! Do you know the rest of the answers?”

Yeah, he does. Jihoon laughs and bites his bottom lip. “First one is free, but the rest are going to cost you…” He brushes his thumb against his pointer and middle fingers, fully willing to charge for his knowledge.

Daehwi moans loudly, and Jinyoung crosses his arms over his chest after he’s done writing his (Jihoon’s) answer. “What’s the price?” Jinyoung asks, narrowing his eyes.

Jihoon hasn’t thought that far ahead. “How about… uh… two favors each per per sheet. You know, _buy me a matcha latte_ or  _let_ _me drink free at your house party_. I’ll let you know when I need to cash in.”

“I’ve invited you to two of my parties already, hyung, and you didn’t show up to any of them! But yeah, okay. So, let’s say you do all of our work for us. That would be six favors each, dear lord. Okay, I’ll take that deal. Jinyoungie?”

Jinyoung nods and smiles handsomely at this while Daehwi cheers brightly. Is this friendship? It sort of feels like they’re using each other, but he's observed that many relationships begin through mutually beneficial circumstances like this. Jihoon actually blushes a bit and shoves his hands in his pant pockets.

As he does, his fingers touch a neatly folded receipt and he is about to crumple it within his pocket before remembering that he was running late this morning and wore the same jeans he had worn at work yesterday. The ones that currently pocket Park Woojin’s number. Freezing in place, a picture-perfect memory of a name, number, and dog doodle pops into his mind.

_I haven’t texted him yet._

There’s a reason for this and it rhymes with smocial smanxiety. How long do you wait to text? Is Woojin already expecting a message? Jihoon has already entered the number in his phone as _baby bartend,_ but touching the primary source in his pocket brings on a mess of feelings. Damn, shouldn’t he have just texted an acknowledgement of the number right after receiving it? Does Woojin feel rejected because it’s been half a day since they sealed the deal on a date?

Banishing these thoughts to the back burner, Jihoon takes a deep breath and plops cross-legged onto the aquarium floor and quickly begins to fill out the electric eel worksheet. Jinyoung takes a seat next to him to watch and Jihoon flashes him a little smile. “I’m just going to do all three real quick and you guys can copy. Put the answers into your own words though, I… well you know this is my intended major so try not to let Jonghyun-hyung know I’m letting you cheat.”

After a quick ten minutes (Jihoon is actually quite proud of himself for finishing so quickly), Daehwi and Jinyoung get to work copying his answers for electric eels, sea otters, and aurelia jellyfish. All three are featured at the aquarium, and all three are incredible creatures. Sure, everyone knows that sea otters hold hands when they sleep, but do they know that otters have pockets underneath their arms? That they use tools with an almost primate-level competency? 

Owing to Jihoon’s database of animal facts, the trio finishes the work with an hour and a half to spare. They begin to wander and Jihoon calmly directs them to the less-terrifying creatures that they actually want to see, like penguins and colorful reef fish. He and Jinyoung have to tag-team in order to get Daehwi to touch a baby stingray in the petting pond. Jinyoung gets into a staring contest with a camouflaged cuttlefish and needs both Jihoon and Daehwi to pull him away from it.

After the burden of their work is done all three started having a very good time, compounding each others’ energy and growing louder with each exhibit they visit. Jihoon sometimes feels like a third wheel but Daehwi and in particular Jinyoung seem to be very good at stopping their couple-flow in order to include him. He doesn’t need that attention right now, but he _is_ glad that Jinyoung is giving it. Huh. Friendship(?) is weird.

Somewhere between the jellyfish tanks and the seahorses, Jihoon’s hand gravitates toward his pocket again and his fingers fold over the receipt.

“Can I cash in on one favor?” Jihoon asks quietly, almost to himself. He retrieves the receipt from his pocket and holds it in two hands. Jinyoung stops immediately and tilts his head in a question. Daehwi didn’t hear and Jinyoung grabs the back of his shirt to stop him from moving onward.

“Yeah, of course.” Jinyoung says with a small smile.

Daehwi nods with a thumbs up, and Jihoon takes a quick breath.

“So… uh… I may have agreed to go out with someone yesterday. He gave me his number and I haven’t… well, I don’t know… responded yet. Advice please…?”

Apparently it was a bad question. Daehwi’s face softens into a wise and motherly expression but Jinyoung just bursts out in laughter. Daehwi hushes Jinyoung with a hand before continuing. “Aww, I knew you were shy but this? Okay, Park Jihoon, you have to text him.”

Jinyoung nods. “Yeah, there’s no harm and it’s already part of the deal, right? Are you worrying about what to say, or the fact that you may be about to start a relationship?”

BOTH. “Uh, well, I just don’t really know when is proper to text him. He kinda… uh… implied? Yeah, implied that he would be waiting for my text so _—_ ”

“And you haven't yet?” Daehwi looks like Jihoon just insulted his entire wardrobe. “But... wait, do you like him?”

A quick snaggletoothed smile pops into Jihoon’s head. “Yeah. Well yes, I think. Yeah. He’s… yes I like him.”

“So he asked you out and said he would be looking forward to your text? Basically?” Jinyoung asks, but doesn’t let Jihoon respond. “Text him right now. Is that his number?”

With a blush, Jihoon raises the folded receipt and nods. “The number is in my phone but this just… shocked my memory a bit.”

“Oh, cute, you kept the hard copy. But Jinyoungie is right, text him immediately. I’ll dictate.” Daehwi declares proudly, indicting himself with a thumb to his chest.

“You will do no such thing.” Jihoon grumbles, unfolding the receipt and smiling despite himself as he sees the puppy doodle. “So just… okay don’t dictate, but tell me what to say. _Without_ dictating.”

“Looking forward to boning?” Jinyoung ventures quietly. Even Daehwi looks briefly scandalized.

“Oh you shut the hell up Baejin. Just say, _hey babycakes, it’s pretty boy jihoon here giving you my number. looking forward to boning._ ” Daehwi says, and Jihoon play slaps him on the arm before turning and legitimately socking Jinyoung in the solar plexus. Idiots.

After a quick second Jihoon opens up a message box on his phone. His thumbs hover over the keyboard as he tries to piece together what he wants to say, but somehow _looking forward to boning_ is the only thing occupying his mind. Idiot friends.

“You are both awful.” He growls before typing something out. It’s at least two sentences too long, so he just deletes it all and starts from scratch. Jihoon goes through this process of type delete and repeat about three times before deciding that simple is best.

_Hey it’s baby barthief snake boy jihoon_

After looking at the unsent text for another few seconds, Jihoon opts to change the capital H to a lowercase one and before he can overthink it one step further, he hits send.

 _Ahhh okay. Yeah, I got this. Maybe._ Apparently Jihoon’s minor distress is clear to see and Daehwi wraps an arm around his waist and stares at his screen. “Baby barthief snake boy?”

“Long story.” Is all Jihoon gives, sighing deeply and collapsing in place. “Okay, I did it. Okay. Yeah. Dating.”

Jinyoung smiles sadly. “So, when was the last time you went on a date?”

“A year ago.” Is Jihoon’s quick, clipped response. Sure, he likes both of them very much but that doesn’t mean he has to get into his (sad) romantic history with them. Not yet. But it has been nearly a year since his last date, and even longer since his last relationship.

Daehwi explodes into a thousand noisy pieces at this information. “WHAT? Jihoon-hyung no fucking way. No. What? You’re like the cutest little muffin I have ever seen. How is that possible?”

Jihoon _can’t even answer him_ because Daehwi just said ‘little muffin’ and that happens to be one of Woojin’s nicknames for his puppy. He's so far gone for this kid and they haven't even gone out yet. Fucking yikes. He wants to run away from them, maybe hide in the shadowy corners of the electric eel corner, maybe keep texting his baby bartender.

“Jihoon-hyung is shy.” Jinyoung says easily, but there’s a bit of pity in his gaze. “And he doesn’t have to date just because he’s pretty, come on. But still I cannot believe you haven’t been asked out in the last year.”

Ah, yes, turns out Jinyoung is quietly almost as bad as Daehwi when it comes to judging him. But Jihoon knows there is no malicious intent here, only caring and curiosity. “I’ve been asked out I just… don’t say yes.”

Jihoon studies for his classes, studies independently of his classes, and for the most part the rest of his free time is spent reading and watching cartoons. Jihoon knows he lives a boring lifestyle but when pressed with a decision of what to do to fill his time, most of his desired activities are independent or quiet. He’s different with friends and family but that’s because he’s spent years knowing them. Strangers are… well, strange. It takes him an average of two months to start warming up to people, even if they’re a fixture in his life.

His inclinations aren’t exactly conducive to spontaneous dating, even if he sometimes longs for someone just to be _his_ , and he theirs. Not too much to ask, right? Reasonably a friends-to-lovers style romance would suit him the best but he’s never been in that situation before. He’s certainly not extroverted and happily more observant than interactive. Making actual, lasting relationships has never been his forte, and he doesn’t think it will become so unless Jihoon decides to act differently than he’s comfortable doing. To do so would be duplicitous and Jihoon tries to only lie to strangers. Eventually his thoughts about dating lead him around and around until he ends up trying to convince himself that all he needs in his life are animals, books, and anime. 

“Okay, okay, okay. Sorry hyung, we’re not trying to put you on the spot here. But seriously this is cute enough for me to give you this favor for free.” Daehwi says, nodding strongly to himself. “Heed my words of wisdom:”

Both Jinyoung and Jihoon roll their eyes as Daehwi takes a dramatic pause before clapping his hands together and nodding again.

“You’re actually very intimidating, hyung.” He finally says. Jihoon’s jaw drops a bit. Daehwi is quick to explain, momentarily locking eyes with Jinyoung who nods a few times in assent.

“Not in that criminal, bruiser way, but… seriously hyung it took me three lab sessions to muster up the courage to talk to you, and two labs after that for you to seem comfortable interacting with us. You’re smart as hell and beautiful to boot, but so quiet and _so_ guarded. And you can be scarily focused, hyung, you read your worksheets so intensely I’m surprised they don’t actually catch fire.”

Jinyoung chimes in with a raised hand. “Remember that one student last month who volunteered in lecture that we eradicate the entire coyote population? Hyung I think you were actually crying but you still stood up and tore his reasoning and existence to shreds. With science.”

Daehwi shakes his head lightly, as though to clear the memory. “He quit the course because you made him pee his pants. You can be scary, hyung, and it’s even scarier because despite your mood you never really stop looking like an elf princeling. It's really hard to tell what's going through your mind. Seriously, if this mystery suitor has the guts to weave around that prickly aura _and_ the charm to make you like him…”

Jinyoung throws a thumbs up. “He’s brave as hell and probably worth your time, hyung.”

Jihoon’s compliment-anxiety starts to rise but it’s curtailed by the fact that both Daehwi and Jinyoung actually know him a bit better than he thought. Jihoon smiles and is about to thank them when suddenly his phone vibrates loudly enough from his pocket for all three of them to hear it.

Jinyoung’s eyes bug out while Daehwi dances towards him and tries to get a peek at the text. Jihoon turns his back to his friends and takes a deep breath. _It could be my mom. It could be Seongwoo-hyung about work. It could be an amber alert._

He checks, and it is none of those things. It’s Park Woojin.

_Hey!_

As he reads this, he receives another message:

_Your text couldnt have come at a better time, i just hopped on the bus :)_

Well apparently even Woojin’s texting is cute. A little smoother than he had been able to dish out verbally. Jihoon bites his bottom lip as he tries not to smile, but the grin breaks free as Woojin texts again.

_Hows your day going_

Jihoon can’t help but cringe happily and giggle behind his hand. Looks like he really didn't let a text from him sit for long. “Well, he responded. Quicker than I thought."

Daehwi and Jinyoung assault him with a chorus of affirmations along the theme of ‘of course he did you fucking loser.’ Jihoon just waves them off and looks at the messages again. Okay, now what? Honesty, probably.

_well! on a field trip for class, already let my friends copy my worksheet answers so we’re just bumming around having non educational fun. sorry for taking so long to text you._

This doesn’t seem like enough but before Jihoon can think of something to add, Woojin responds in quick message bursts.

_No problem at all, im glad you did_

_So what does your weekend look like_

_:D_

Woojin overuses smilies and Jihoon wants to coo. When he thinks back on their interactions he realizes quickly that Woojin was chock full of grins. He talks and smiles quickly and often, so much that it spills over into his choppy texting. Jihoon waits until he can tell Woojin is done with his message stream before responding.

_pretty free, actually_

_i work sunday night though_

Apparently Jihoon has been neglecting his friends.

“Wow, look at you, you’re redder than that octopus back there.” Daehwi observes, risking a poke at Jihoon’s cheeks that he lightly slaps away.

Jinyoung is hardly better, wiggling his eyebrows and cackling. “So you really do like this guy, huh?”

Okay yeah, fine, he does. Jihoon wants to stop talking about this so he looks back to his phone and sees two responses from Woojin.

_So how about saturday_

_Is sixish okay_

That’s really as good as anything. Maybe by Saturday he’ll have calmed down his nerves a bit. For now he has to fake it until he makes it. After a few seconds he settles on teasing confidence.

_sounds good to me._

_anything in mind, or can you still not think of anything besides me agreeing on a date?_

Jihoon wants to smack himself for sending that so quickly. It’s _too_ confident even if it’s a pretty good callback. Woojin doesn’t respond immediately so Jihoon shoves his phone into his back pocket and walks firmly through the rest of the hall to the next exhibit, blushing at his friends catcalling behind him. Eventually they catch on to the fact that Jihoon is very done with being the center of attention and all three continue focusing on the aquarium. After a quick minute or two Jihoon feels his phone buzz. He checks it as nonchalantly as he can.

_Well now i cant think of anything but you actually texting me_

_Sort of kidding_

_Its a little childish maybe, but do you like arcades?_

Absolutely _yes_ Jihoon likes arcades. He's a great hand at a joystick and an even better shot with gun controllers. Plus, who can resist a little DDR?

_i am always down for arcades. the one downtown?_

Over the course of this text conversation Jihoon has been trailing his friends distractedly. He finally looks up from his phone and realizes they’re practically done touring the aquarium. Daehwi is leading the pack with Jinyoung loping by his side and occasionally bumping shoulders. They’re completely absorbed in each other and Jihoon is glad they’re distracted enough to give him a bit of alone time, even if it’s just a few minutes.

“Jinyounggie help me look for Jonghyun-hyung so we can turn in these sheets and roll out.” Daehwi says, turning on his heel prettily before scanning the crowd. They’re at the very end of the outdoor enclosures, moving with the crowd between the sea lions and the penguins.

Luckily Jonghyun is nearby and alone, giggling softly behind his hand as he watches a couple of sea lions go through a routine with their trainer. Yes, no question, he is Jihoon’s absolute favorite TA. Luckily Jihoon will probably get him again next semester. Daehwi calls out to Jonghyun, causing him to jump and shake his hair out sheepishly before holding his hands out for their worksheets. He scans them quickly, chuckling sometimes.

“Aaaaand how much of this did Jihoon-ah do?” Jonghyun finally asks, looking up from under his bangs. He’s actually smirking a bit and Jihoon immediately goes red in the face.

“We all did our own work.” Daehwi salutes. “Honest!”

Jonghyun is in no way fooled but it’s the end of a tough week for him and his students and he can't help but let them get away with it. “If he’s going to do the work you two better treat him nicely for it, okay? Don’t think I haven’t noticed, you’d both be Cing this class without him.”

Jinyoung laughs and nods with sincere affirmation while Daehwi smiles brightly. “Oh, Jonghyun-hyung don’t be fooled by his pretty face. Jihoonie has happily exploited us for his brains."

Jonghyun turns to Jihoon for an explanation, but he only winces and shrugs. “I respect the barter system. Anyway, hyung, how has your marine mammal dissertation been going?”

After a rather long conversation with Jonghyun that very quickly left the non-majors behind (Daehwi and Jinyoung stopped paying attention when Jihoon brought up a heated defense of a recent article about the neuroepigenetic importance of wild orca socialization) the three bid farewell to their little TA and exit the aquarium. Apparently it rained while they were inside but it had recently stopped. Puddles are accumulated on the uneven sidewalks, and everything is clearly damp and fresh. 

Breathing the clean air, Jihoon stretches before checking his phone again. And, lo:

_Oh yeah, downtown for sure._

_Meet there and then figure it out?_

So Woojin wants to play it loosey-goosey. Jihoon can be comfortable with ambiguity so he begins to type a response but Woojin beats him to it.

_Or we can figure it out now_

_Whatever you want_

Wait for it…

_:)_

And there’s the closing smilie. Jihoon thinks he is somehow grinning harder than the damn emoji. It’s impossible not to notice.

“Wow, you really do like this guy. Wow.” Jinyoung mutters, wiggling his eyebrows. “Not to say I haven’t seen you smile before, but this sloppy grin is something else entirely.”

Jihoon thinks this over quickly. It’s embarrassing, sure, but it doesn’t feel wrong or forced. Park Woojin is very cute, very sweet, and a bit cheeky _—_ enough for Jihoon to match him with his own natural sass without feeling like a dick. Jihoon knows he tends to fall hard and fast, but Woojin has proven himself quick (and strong) enough to catch him. Jinyoung had called Woojin brave and when Jihoon looks past the rapid fire texts, choppy sentence fragments, and occasionally stuttered speech, he realizes that Woojin really _did_ have the guts to invade his bubble and ask him out. Wingdog aside, he wasn’t thrown by Jihoon’s… Jihooniness.

“I think I really do like him.” Jihoon mutters quietly.

Instead of pressing him further, Jinyoung places his hands on Jihoon’s shoulders and rocks him back and forth gently. “We will make sure you don’t fuck it up then, right?”

“Yeah, Jihoon-hyung you’re in the squad now and I’m not going to interrogate you about him yet, but please understand that we are already willing to rip his arms off if he hurts you. Hands in _—_ ”

This is insane and embarrassing. Daehwi has stopped them in the middle of a busy sidewalk and is holding out an expectant hand in the middle of their trio. They are completely in the way of the flow of traffic but Jihoon is starting to warm up to Daehwi’s public displays of insanity by now and places his palm on top of Daehwi’s hand. Jinyoung is last, but not without a strong nod and a little giggle.

“Okay, one, two, _three!_ ” They all pick up on Daehwi’s vibe and raise their hands at once. “Help Jihoon realize that interacting with other humans can be quite lovely and that even the cutest cactus in the world needs some loving!"

“I’m not repeating that, but seconded.” Jinyoung laughs. Jihoon blushes and stays silent at this because there’s nothing else he can do. Friendship secured. Apparently he’s in the squad now. Jihoon would be lying if he said he wasn’t completely touched by the gesture.

"Am I the cactus?" He finally ventures.

Daehwi pats his head lightly. "You _are_. Onward?" Daehwi points north with both arms.

They begin to walk through downtown and and because it’s the beginning of the evening rush hour the sidewalks and streets are packed with people just trying to get home. Jihoon holds his arms as close to his body as he can to avoid unnecessary contact with the crowd, keeping his eyes on Jinyoung’s back as he follows their lead and picks apart Daehwi and Jinyoung’s observations about him.

Daehwi isn’t the first to call him intimidating but Jihoon almost never feels that way. Objectively he understands that his strong focus and introversion can be read as standoffish, and yes, Jihoon is aware that his wallflower aesthetic is uniquely qualified for people to _look but don’t touch._ Understandably, the combination can be striking to people who want to both look and touch. But intimidating? On accident, maybe.

It turns out Daehwi is leading he and Jinyoung into a section of downtown that’s a bit more colorful and musical than the rest, having claimed there’s a bubble tea shop that outclasses the rest in the area. Jinyoung starts playing with Daehwi’s hair from behind and after a quick slap fight they’re walking side by side, again happily fixating on each other. Occasionally they toss a question back to Jihoon but he keeps his answers short, happy for the chance not to talk for a bit. They really are trying to be inclusive, despite being de facto (true facto?) boyfriends.

After a few more minutes they find the neighborhood that houses Daehwi’s bubble tea, but a block away from their goal they run into a thick crowd surrounding a pack of dancing buskers. Daehwi tries to pick through but doesn’t get very far before deciding to lead them into the street and around the audience. Before he can hop off the curb of the sidewalk, Daehwi suddenly halts in place, holding up a hand to stop Jinyoung and accidentally hitting him in the face. “Ah! What!? Okay, oh my god, we know these guys! Hold on, let’s try to wiggle in.”

At least three people are currently Too Close to Jihoon, but Daehwi’s enthusiasm tugs him through his social anxiety. He actually grabs the back of Jinyoung shirt to orient himself and his friend smiles softly at him. “They’re good people, don’t worry. We won’t be long.”

When they finally get close enough, Jihoon immediately notices an oddly familiar tuft of dark blonde hair. After standing on his toes he can see Daniel’s wide back. Huh, Jihoon wonders if Seongwoo-hyung is here too.

“Ah, I know one of them too, sort of.” Jihoon explains. Daehwi actually looks back at him, tilting his head in confusion. “Daniel, the big one. He’s my boss’ boyfriend.”

Daniel is the only one of the dancers tall enough for Jihoon to see from behind the crowd and this alone gives him a burst of courage. He pushes past Jinyoung and links arms with Daehwi before the pair of them angle their course to approach stage left. Daehwi is laughing, “Oh, yeah, Ong Seongsomething, right? Most of my conversations with Daniel-hyung eventually center around him gushing about his boyf.”

The song Daniel & Co. are dancing to has a rather hard beat and a strong hook. Jihoon can’t help but bob his head to the bass line before Daehwi makes the final push to the front of the crowd. When he finally pulls Jinyoung to his right and Jihoon to his left, they all have a perfect view of the performance. This is where Jihoon’s entire world implodes.

Park Woojin is the dance center.

Repeat: Park fucking Woojin is the dance center.

Jihoon tries to give himself time to reboot but Woojin is _good_ and his stage presence is enough to fry Jihoon's entire operating system. He can't look, but he has to. He can't think, but every impulse is screaming at Jihoon to view the situation objectively. Apparently he's more attracted to Woojin than he gives himself credit for because he cannot seem to tear his eyes away from him when he's being this rude.

Heartstopping isn’t a good enough word to describe Woojin’s dancing. There is no stuttering baby bartender here, there isn’t even that attractive dog owner that Jihoon met last night. There is just a human body roll.

He could be be the best of the crew, Daniel included, but Jihoon can't take his eyes away long enough to determine the extent of their skills. Woojin is simply good at dancing and he looks like there's nothing else he would rather be doing. So fluid it doesn’t look like he’s exerting effort, so effortlessly sensual and appealing that Jihoon actually takes a takes a step back and tries to hide behind Daehwi. Unfortunately Daehwi is too perceptive for Jihoon’s own good and follows his gaze to Woojin and then back to him, eyebrows slowly raising.  

Luckily for Jihoon, Woojin is too focused on his routine and (probably?) hasn’t seen him yet. They’ve changed formation by now and _maybe_ Jihoon is biased but he’s sure Woojin is managing to steal the show from the back row. It takes Jihoon some real effort to check out Daniel’s dancing but after a few short moments he can’t manage to come to any conclusions besides: _Park Woojin is really fucking hot._

Maybe he hasn’t actually realized Jihoon is in the audience yet, but they’re only two meters apart and it’s only a matter of time. Jihoon is in the front row, he’s wearing a pink sweater, and his hair is definitely the most red of the gathered audience. He is a neon sign and Woojin _will_ see him. He even believes that Woojin will be happy to see him. Maybe he already knows he’s here. Fuck. Is this how Jihoon dies?

Ah, no sir. Snaggletooth did _not_ just wink.

“Question.” Daehwi prompts quietly, but loud enough for his voice to carry over the music. He links arms tightly with Jihoon to pull him back to the very front. “Do you know Woojin-hyung?”

No he doesn’t, but he also does, and boy does he want to know him better. “I know Daniel-hyung…”

The equivocation seems to work but Daehwi still looks at him for longer than Jihoon knows is necessary. “Uh huh...”

It all comes to a head very quickly. The song picks up in energy and the dancers match the change in tone with an increase in power. All six members of the crew are wearing black but in different styles. Woojin’s wearing a very light, very airy black T-shirt that’s definitely, definitely one size too large for him.

Jihoon realizes the point of this when Woojin takes advantage of not being center to lift his shirt and show off his abs.It's only a split second but Jihoon isn't about to forget any time soon.  _Abdominal muscles? Park Woojin = abs?_  

Apparently Daniel also did Abs (with a capital A), and crowd absolutely loses its mind. Woojin has to get back into formation quicker than Daniel, so Jihoon only really gets a split second of his body before he dips away. Jihoon is too shocked to even scream, instead hiding his eyes behind his hands and peaking through his fingers. Dizzy. He's very dizzy.

But... abs? Dancer Woojin? This is insane. Why is he so hot, why didn't Jihoon see this coming? People have abs if they work for it, right? Daniel does, and by most accounts Daniel is objectively more classically appealing than Woojin. Or he thought so before seeing Woojin drop on the ground and, uh… oh. Grind on it. Jihoon whines as quietly as he can before taking a very deep breath and _—_ oh.

It feels like two magnets snapping together. Woojin had just finished ruffling his hair _—_ sexily, too sexily _—_ and he makes eye contact with Jihoon from the ground. There’s a burst of recognition in his eyes but instead of almost falling apart like Jihoon had, Woojin _smirks_. Smirks at Jihoon like he knows exactly what’s going through his mind.

Well joke’s on Woojin, because even the world’s best at charades wouldn’t be able to guess the exact configuration of the keyboard smash that’s currently taking up his thought process right now. 

“You do know him.” Daehwi whispers naughtily, shaking his hips lightly. “You totally know him. Baejin! Jihoon knows Woojin. They know each other. They... oh my god."

Daehwi _definitely_ knows. He knows Woojin is the object of Jihoon's supercrush. 

Still, Jihoon staunchly refuses this with five too many shakes of his head before dragging his hands down his face. Distressingly appealing body regardless, Jihoon can’t seem to get away from Woojin’s eyes. Luckily Woojin has to turn and change positions when the end of the song nears and Jihoon can finally remember what breathing is like.

“We’ve… met.”

Jinyoung is on Daehwi’s other side, but he bends forward to shoot Jihoon a smile. “And here I was wondering why Woojin turned the sex up to MAXXX halfway through the song. He looks like he wants to eat you, hyung.”

No, nope. No more of this, Jihoon thinks his heartbeat is reaching an unhealthy pace. Maybe this _is_ where he dies. “He does not, shut your little face Bae Jinyoung.”

“Uh oh, he’s getting into fight-mode.” Daehwi observes, finally releasing his hold on Jihoon’s arm. “Woojin loves fighting, doesn’t he. Maybe you should wrestle _after your date.”_

And with a tease, his fate is sealed. Daehwi knows. This does not mean Jihoon has to be graceful about it. “Maybe after our date we’ll come murder you.”

 _"Park Woojin_ asked you out?” Apparently Jinyoung isn’t as quick on the draw. Apparently he also deemed it necessary to _shout_ this. Jihoon glares with as much venom as he can muster but eventually his eyes flick back to Woojin. His date.

Right in time for the final pose, it seems. Woojin is panting, taking deep breaths with his back cheating out to the audience. He looks over his shoulder at Jihoon with a smirk, showing off his snaggletooth as though he knows Jihoon loves it. He probably does.

Woojin really does look like he wants to eat him. Jihoon might just let him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i can imagine jonghyun and jihoon on a research boat trying to tag orcas. so tiny, so determined. 
> 
> comments are like bagels to me - i dont get them every day, but when i do, the world is temporarily perfect
> 
> i really like bagels


	4. on poof?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cosmos smiles upon these boys, allowing two divergent social circles to crash together in a sassy, noisy mess. Eventually that gets to be too much, and Jihoon and Woojin legitimately run away from their friends. A footrace ensues, and no one actually wins. 
> 
> Except for maybe 2park.

This is not what he planned. Fucking nope. He may have fantasized about it, sure, but _actually?_ Park Woojin’s first performance of the first song he’s ever (half) choreographed, and the boy of his dreams pops up in the front row with attentive eyes and a monster of a blush. Fuck.

Woojin _actually means_ boy of his dreams. Jihoon has had at least three cameos in his actual dreams over the last month, and let’s not even get into Woojin’s verifiable catalogue of daydreams. Some are simple, like walking Yoomi with Jihoon and getting ice cream. One of them is them pulling an elaborate bank heist together. A few are NSFW. He _actually means_ not safe for work, as well. If Jisung could tap into the safety of Woojin’s brain and see what totally naughty shit features his cousin, he would probably gouge out his eyeballs and cut off his hands so he can never see or touch Jihoon again. And _then_ fire him.

Here’s the scary part. Today’s daydream while waiting for the bus was almost exactly this situation. Jihoon, here, now. Did he somehow fucking summon him?

Jihoon is just standing there, dressed like cotton candy and still managing to convey some serious fucking intent in his gaze despite the monster of a blush on his cheeks. Sure, he has probably the prettiest eyes Woojin has ever seen in real life but he had no idea how easily that beauty could be translated into _this_. Isn’t _he_ supposed to be wowing Jihoon right now? According to his daydream, this is where he just finished the dance with a bang and then holds his eye contact until Jihoon gets flustered and looks away. Woojin then strides over and demands his attention again before tugging him in for a deep, powerful kiss.

But those _eyes_. Can Woojin really use the word ‘expressive’ to describe Jihoon when he has no idea how to decipher that intensity? Fuck, he’s very lucky that performance adrenaline is still coursing through him and he can count on it to continue fueling his charisma _—_ otherwise he would probably swallow his tongue and forget what words are. Completely caught under Jihoon’s spell, Woojin ends up holding his pose for a beat longer than the rest of the crew. They’re already bowing as one and he ungracefully races to catch up.

“ _PARK WOOJIN KILL~L~LER!"_  shouts a familiar voice. Finally dragging his eyes away, Woojin notices Daehwi is in the crowd too. Next to Jihoon. Touching Jihoon. Daehwi is way past what Woojin has been piecing together as Jihoon’s physical contact range, wrapping an arm around his back and muttering something into his ear. Now, how the fuck do _they_ know each other? Woojin has known Daehwi for years, and he’s never mentioned knowing anyone who matches Jihoon’s description.

If he could growl he would. Actually, he might have. Woojin shakes himself out of his bow as the audience starts to disperse and the crew begins to sort themselves out and pack up the sound equipment. The mingling audience is starting to block his path to Jihoon, and he starts to move forward only to be stopped by two of the girls on the dance team lugging the large and clearly heavy speaker system right in front of him. So he has to wait for them to pass. What’s next, a tourist group? A trail of elementary students tied together on a field trip? This is insane, and he needs to get at Jihoon like yesterday.

This shit is not following the daydream plot anymore but Woojin doesn’t care, he just really needs to clear this small sea of people and… be there. He doesn’t know anymore. Jihoon’s sexy gaze is far more dangerous than Woojin had anticipated. Is this still the Danger Zone, or have they leveled up to a live minefield?

Doesn’t matter. Woojin starts to thread through the crowd but comes face-to-face with Jinyoung, Daehwi behind him holding onto his shoulders and hopping excitedly. _Not the time, boys, I’ve got a Cute Boy to deal with_. Jinyoung and Daehwi’s interference cuts him off from Jihoon’s gaze but he can still _feel it,_ like a pulse of static between them.

“THAT was SO FHSODk FUCking, oh my god, it was good! That’s the choreo you were working on?” Daehwi starts running his mouth excitedly. “That was unfairly hot, hyung—”

Jinyoung, uncharastically, interrupts Daehwi with a hand and turns his eyes to Woojin. “More importantly, I think you broke Park Jihoon.” He actually smirks and tosses a thumb over his shoulder. “Please clean up your mess before he flees.”

“I’ve learned a great deal about him today, and one of those things is that he’s _very into you_. He’s still probably about 5 seconds away from running, though.” Daehwi nods. “Go go go!”

“Well fuck, stop blocking my path then!” Woojin actually loses it, physically taking hold of Jinyoung and forcing him and the clinging Daehwi out of his way before charging past them and slipping into the Danger Zone. He locks eyes with Jihoon again to see one last whisper of that wholly unexpected sexy gaze _—_ gaze of intent? Of promise? Bloodlust?—before it drifts away as though caught in a breeze.

Standing before him now is that shy, beautiful weirdo he somehow managed to get to agree to a date. Jihoon is trying to keep eye contact with him, but he can’t seem to hold it for more than two seconds. This is okay to Woojin, especially because when he flees from eye contact Jihoon looks at his body instead. And boy does he _look_. He glances at his arms, hands, shoulders, down his body and up again, and Woojin would call it leering if it were anyone else but Jihoon. Honestly, it feels more like he’s being _studied,_ just in a curious and slightly sexually charged manner.

The tables have turned once more. Maybe Woojin can actually reclaim his daydream at this point so he tries to look as cool as he can and ride the last dregs of his adrenaline. Jihoon nibbles his bottom lip for a moment before laughing at himself and looking down to his feet. It’s cute. He’s cute. Fuck. And he’s _here_.

Jihoon hasn’t moved at all from his spot, instead physically retreating into himself as though to take up as little space as possible. Maybe this is how he deals with his flight impulse without actually running? This realization—true or not—sparks in Woojin’s brain and he feels a little touched. Jihoon may be trying to overcome a handful of fears for, with, and through him. Ah, shit, that would be _too_ good to be true. _Don’t go there, Woojin. Head out of the gutter._  

There’s no doubt that Jihoon is flustered, but he doesn’t look like he wants to run. Or he does want to run but is choosing not to. Still, he’s holding both small hands into tight fists and Woojin realizes that this is the perfect situation for him to do something he’s wanted to do since Jihoon first stole his beer and his heart:

Hold his fucking hands.

“Hi.” Woojin mutters deeply, grabbing both of Jihoon’s wrists in each hand before quickly unlacing his smaller fingers and weaving in his own. Jihoon looks down to their hands in utter shock before dragging his eyes up Woojin’s torso and meeting his eyes with a soft smile. So far so very very good.

“You are an extremely talented dancer.” Is what Jihoon manages to say. From the shine in his eyes and the almost heart stopping way he tightens his grip on Woojin’s hands, he absolutely means it. 

Aaaand with one fell swoop Park Jihoon manages to shatter Woojin’s cool. He can’t help but burst out laughing, and he lets go of one of Jihoon’s hands to ruffle his hair in embarrassment. “Ahh, well, thank you, but I still have a long—”

“No, Park Woojin, shush. You are _good_.” Jihoon lets go of his other hand in order to step a little closer, and he has actually stopped blushing as if to emphasize how much he means what he’s saying. “What the hell was that? That was incredible. How… You didn’t mention you danced…”

It’s not like they’ve really talked before, though. Just played with a dog, stumbled through flirting, and blushed a lot. “I… well, yeah, I dance. Clearly. It’s kind of… my main thing. I didn’t know you were friends with Daehwi…” Woojin tries to change the subject, shaking out his hair again and tossing a thumb over his shoulder at where he assumes Daehwi and Jinyoung are gossiping about them.  

Jihoon steps up onto his tiptoes to peer over Woojin’s shoulder with something that starts with a shrug and ends in a nod. He plops down flat footed with a fond smile. “It’s a very recent development. I think we were just mutually beneficial acquaintances before today, actually. We’re in the same zoology lab and we went to the aquarium. I… uh… well, hah, turns out Jinhwi couple over there has been trying to befriend me for half a year by now. Whoops.” Jihoon is so cute and so calculated, Woojin just wants to sling him over his shoulder and hide him away somewhere so he can pick his brains and make out with him.

Jihoon has other plans. “But seriously, Woojin, you’re _better_ than street dancing. This… This is a talent that you put a ring on, not treat as some sidepiece.”

The compliment sends Woojin absolutely soaring. Honestly, Woojin hasn’t really experienced the chatty side of Jihoon _,_ though he’d witnessed it during the squabble with Jisung and when Woojin actively eavesdropped on Jihoon’s conversation with his boss last night. Nerves and words, those are two _very_ good ways to describe Park Jihoon.

“I… thank you? Good analogy? I’m trying… yeah that’s kind of the lowkey goal. Dancing as… not a hobby.” Seriously, the tables are turning on Woojin so often he’d do well to invest in a Lazy Susan. “I… well anyway, I’m _really_ happy to see you so soon. Wow. Did you, er, intend to come? I don’t know. Did you get dragged?”

Woojin needs to get back into confidence mode and the best way to do that is to throw some shade. “Daehwi is something of a dragger…”

“He is, but it wasn’t a drag though.” Jihoon jokes. It’s a _bad_ joke. Woojin still laughs and almost falls to the ground when Jihoon beams back. The mood is good and Woojin grabs his hand again because he wants to.

“Do you want to get out of here? I can sense Daehwi formulating teases and I’ve learned by now to never underestimate Bae Jinyoung.” Woojin volunteers, tugging Jihoon lightly to his side and grinning sideways at him.

And yes, he did position Jihoon on his left side so he might fall in love with the snaggletooth even more. Woojin has eyes, he knows Jihoon likes it. Actually, he knows that Jihoon likes _him_ , but that part is still absolutely insane. Baby steps.

“Looks like you played with that dog afterall, kiddo.” The voice is familiar, and they both turn as one to see Jihoon’s boss wiggling his eyebrows at them from a couple feet away. Ah, the man who rang him up at Ongnimals before romantically sexiling (Romanxiling?) himself from the premises. Whether by accident or not, this guy played a very important part in this nonsense.  

“Ah, hyung, you _are_ here! When I saw Daniel-hyung I wondered if you were somewhere in the audience.” Jihoon responds, trying and actually succeeding at keeping his cool.

That blush might as well be perpetually inked into his face though, and now that Woojin knows this it’s becoming easier for him to see around Jihoon’s nervousness and interpret the rest of his body language. He’s not all the way there yet, though. Jihoon still has his fingers laced with his, but he’s tapping out a beat on the back of Woojin’s hand with his thumb and he doesn’t know whether to interpret it as reassurance or a code. Reassurance via code? No way.

“Yeah, where _is_ that lameass boyfriend of mine…” Jihoon’s boss says, putting his hands on his hips and using his rather considerable height to search through the crowd. “Ah! There’s my boy. Fending off some thirsty middle-aged ladies, _nice_. Kill it, baby.”

Both Jihoon and Woojin can’t help but laugh at this. Daniel’s boyfriend (Seongsomething?) is clearly a mood maker. He proved it when he charged the atmosphere in the pet store before leaving him alone with Jihoon. And now, his effortless comedy and physicality is managing to smooth out some of the tension that still lingers between them.

Honestly, Woojin kind of feels like he owes him at least something and ventures into conversation. “Small world, though. You’re Jihoon’s boss and Daniel-hyung is my… dance boss? Also, Jihoon’s cousin is my actual boss, but, ah, I guess that’s got nothing to do with you, Seong… won?”

“Ong Seong _woo_ , at your service. I actually already know you, even before you stopped in and Jihoonnie stole your dog—”

“I did no such thing!” Jihoon interrupts with a huge pout.

Uh, well? “You kind of did, though.” Woojin mutters in his ear. Jihoon actually punches him in the chest. Cute.

Seongwoo agrees. “Oh, wow, cute. Aaaaanyway, Niel’s got a talent-crush on you, Park Woojin. He once spent 5 whole minutes talking about this one floor scooch you did. Five. Minutes. About you sliding on the floor this _one_ time.” Seongwoo sighs dramatically. “But I must say, the real deal is pretty fucking real. I managed to watch your body instead of Daniel’s for a bit there, and I suppose that’s a quite a feat. Jihoonnie, toss your other suitors to the curb, this one has at least 75% of my endorsement.”

Other… suitors? Woojin actually freezes in place, eyes popping out. So maybe he has something of a territorial streak but it istoo early into this relationship for Woojin to turn into a jealous monster. That’s very high on his ‘Park Jihoon No-No List’, actually. _Don’t scare him away_. It’s right under _Don’t shit talk snakes_ and tied with _Don’t judo flip him (yet)._

Jihoon huffs dramatically and once again squeezes Woojin’s hand. “What suitors? And what the hell is 75%? Do I look like a C student to you?”

“I said at least, dear lord. And _he’s_ the one getting the grade, not you. You know you’re a high B in my eyes, little one.” Seongwoo bats back.

“High B!?” Jihoon cries, horror-stricken. He’s _actually_ offended by that? Well, Jihoon had admitted to Woojin over text that he did all his friends’ work for them, so he’s probably needlessly smart when it comes to zoology. Probably a lot of subjects, actually. And the mentioned friends are definitely Jinyoung and Daehwi. What the hell.

“Don’t worry Jihoonnie.” All three of them turn to see Daniel, with Daehwi and Jinyoung in tow. “Technically I’m only a B in his eyes.”

Daniel knows Jihoon too? This must be a joke. Was Jihoon hovering just out of his peripheries for the last half year? He just fell into their fell into their social orbit like a rogue comet, impacting right in their hearts. Woojin’s especially.

“ _85%_ _plus or minus 10 depending on concept_ , come on Niel-ah, we’ve discussed this.” Seongwoo pouts, but strides over to Daniel and just straight up makes out with him for a few heartbeats longer than was necessary in the situation. “I have to say you are 95% right now, babe.”

“Gross, oh god, you two are the worst. 2park over here just debuted and I already like them more than ongniel.” Daehwi mutters, rubbing his temples.

“Shut the fuck up, Daehwi.” Woojin grumbles in defense, but to his surprise Jihoon just chuckles sweetly. Is he actually comfortable with this situation? He should stop assuming Jihoon’s anxiety as a fact and roll with the punches instead.  

“Can we… I don’t know, talk about this?” Jinyoung raises a hand softly. “It took us _half a year_ to get close to you, Jihoon-hyung. I think we succeeded literally two hours ago…”

Jihoon drops his happy mood immediately. Uh oh. The long awaited return of the original Book Boy. “You tried to get to know me in an academic setting, and I care more about my education than… uh, friendship, I guess.”

Realizing instantly that his brutal honesty isn’t the best strategy here, Jihoon gives himself a second take. “Ah! Wait, that didn’t come out right... or wrong...? Education is greater than or equal to friendship. And let’s be real here, you two are impenetrable, I didn’t think there was any point.”

Bravely, he thinks, Woojin jumps in to assist. “Academia is his comfort zone. I managed to catch him outside of it.”

Woojin has no idea whether this is true but Jihoon looks up at him like he just delivered a sunset during noon. _Nailed it._ Time to keep going. “And then he conned me. So, you know, there’s that.”

Jihoon huffs. “Yeah, well, you didn’t make it very difficult.”

“Excuse me? I’m great at my job, it’s your face that’s the problem.” Woojin isn’t mad at all. This back and forth feels comfortable and somehow unique, almost like he and Jihoon have some secret they’re not sharing with anyone else. He supposes their secret is really just each other. Woojin can see his friends trying to piece the two of them together, and definitely gets a kick out of Daehwi’s dropped jaw and wrinkled brow.

“Too bad you’ll be seeing it a lot more. Loiterer.” Jihoon pouts a little and juts out his chin.

If this flirty-fighty pattern is going to be the nature of their general banter, Woojin may have hit the absolute jackpot with his baby barthief. He’s practically obligated to parry the verbal blow. “Hey, don’t give me that, you got to pet my dog. And I helped you do your job.”

“You grabbed something from a shelf and handed it to me.”

“Uh? You actually committed a crime, so I’m pretty sure my shit doesn’t matter. You know, in the grand scheme.”

Jihoon drops his hand and turns around to face him, eyes gleaming, looking for all the world like he’s wants to settle this here. Woojin will readily admit that Jihoon is better at verbal exchanges and he is happy to let Jihoon take a parting shot.

He’s not disappointed when Jihoon brings it home, cocking his head and smoothly declaring, “Woojin-ah, loitering can be punishable by law.”

Seongwoo has just been cackling this entire time, him being the only person present that has seen some part of the development of this couple. “See, I don’t know if you two want to fight or make out. Hit him with your lips, Jihoonnie, two birds one stone.”

“I’m pretty sure Jihoon would rather hit _you_ , babe.” Daniel chimes in, tossing an arm over Seongwoo’s shoulders and shooting a beaming grin and a thumbs up at Woojin. “Woojinnie, you have great taste. Jihoon is a gem, precious enough to toss into Mount Doom.”

“Nerd.” Four people chorus.

“Asshole.” Jihoon mutters under his breath. Another addition to the No-No List: _Don’t call him precious_. He twists to be back on Woojin’s side in order to escape the middle of the circle they’ve formed. Or, wait. It’s not a circle.

It’s a triangle. Of couples. There is something _not okay_ about that right now, and Woojin may be imagining it but he thinks Jihoon notices as well. He stiffens with a short intake of breath and starts to fiddle with his hands. By now Daehwi is readily sharing his collection of 2park facts with Seongwoo, with a happily clapping Daniel and occasional affirmations and details from Jinyoung. They’re talking about them, but they’re not paying attention to them.

“Hey,” Woojin leans over to whisper in Jihoon’s ear. He smells nice, a little sweet and citrusy. Woojin is immenselyproud that his breath on Jihoon’s neck makes him shudder, but now is not the time for that. “Fuck tomorrow, let’s just go to the arcade now.”

“I, uh…”

“Don’t tell me you want to go on a triple date with these nosy shits?”

Jihoon looks appalled. Good to see they’re on the same page here. “You’re not tired from your performance?” He mutters back, angling his head to make it easier for them to converse in whispers. Also the move exposes more of Jihoon’s neck and Woojin feels it’s his duty to notice that. Fucking hell.

“The absolute reverse.” He responds with a chuckle.

Uh oh, Jinyoung has noticed their closeness. He can see they’re conspiring but instead of calling them out he makes a nudging motion with his chin, clearly telling them to take this opportunity to bolt. Never underestimate Bae Jinyoung, for any reason.

“So are we just going to run away? Just, poof?” Jihoon whispers softly.

The sound effect is surprising and—BIG shocker—very cute. Woojin butts his head against Jihoon’s sweetly before leaning back just a few inches. “Yeah. On poof?”

“On what?”

“One, two, three— _poof!”_ Woojin grabs his wrist and tugs him around before turning on the gas and bolting down the sidewalk. Thankfully Jihoon is quick on the uptake, because Woojin knows he has a good sprint and is actually rather impressed that Jihoon barely lagged a second behind him.

He can hear Daehwi’s shriek, Daniel’s roar of laughter, and maybe a low note from Jinyoung crying “ _Ruuuuuuunnnnnnnn!”_

Jihoon slips his hand out of Woojin’s grip in favor of increasing his escape velocity. He laughs brightly as he steadily outpaces Woojin now that they’re not joined at the hands. The boy is _fast._ The race—it’s definitely a chase now, not an escape—sparks something in Woojin, but try as he might, Jihoon manages to increase his lead.

They quickly approach the end of the block, and Jihoon manages to pull even further ahead owing to the fact that he just _blindly_ accelerated through a turn around the corner and might have barreled right into some hapless pedestrian.  

Woojin rounds the turn two steps behind Jihoon and sees a half block almost completely devoid of people. Lucky. For both of them, actually. At this point Woojin wants to catch Jihoon in order to touch him again _and_ to win whatever this is. He pumps his legs faster while at the same time taking larger leaps with each step and starts to make up some lost ground. Still, the half block is short and Jihoon is still in the lead but falters for a split second as he approaches the streetlight and has to both orient himself and calculate his route.

_Gotcha._

Woojin proves himself _very_ wrong as Jihoon doesn’t pick left or right—he picks _stop._ Like an idiot, Woojin charges past him and almost flies into the street before grinding to a halt and reversing course. “Oh, okay, we’re really doing this?”

Looks like Jihoon has some tactical ingenuity in that big brain of his because he’s already tearing down the street on the right. He knows it’s a chase. Jihoon has probably thought that since gaining his bearings after one two three _poof_. Woojin didn’t expect it, but he absolutely fucking loves it, loves how playful and competitive Jihoon is turning out to be.

Not like Woojin is going to lose, though. He knows his error probably put him back 5 whole steps but he’s always had something of a dramatic spirit. _Okay, snake boy, let’s play to win._

“Ahff yahHA—OWFfuck!!” Woojin cries out in pain as convincingly as he can while still running to catch up.

Jihoon has 1st place blinders on and can only hear what Woojin hoped sounded like him tripping on his face. _How kind are you, Park Jihoon?_

Oh. Very.

Jihoon stops even more abruptly than he had at the end of the block. He halts his motion so quickly that he loses his balance and careens forward. After a terrifying heartbeat he manages to stabilize himself and looks over his shoulder with big, worried eyes. “Are you oka—”

Woojin interrupts like the little shit he knows he is, racing right by Jihoon with a double thumbs up and a kissy face. It feels like pure glory, even though Woojin understands—Inherently?—that Jihoon is slightly faster than he is. But somehow Woojin is willing to bet Jihoon is more likely to want to exact some revenge on him for crying wolf instead of beating him outright.

“Ugh, RUDE.” Jihoon growls, taking off right on Woojin’s heels.

Woojin makes it across a street and almost half of another block before Jihoon whines from behind him, “Woojin-aaaahhh,” he pants for a beat, “slow down,” there's another little whine before, “ _please.”_

He knows Jihoon was cooking something up and he _still falls for it._ Woojin drops his pace by half, both by his own will and (let’s be honest, predominately) because Jihoon sort of... begged him. Not far behind, Jihoon reaches Woojin too quickly and ends up bouncing lightly off his back before they finally stop running.

Panting hard now, Woojin turns to see that Jihoon is shooting him a smug little grin while clutching a stitch in his side. “I didn’t think that would actually work.”

Well when he puts it like that _.._. Is there a word that’s both softer _and_ stronger than whipped? Jihoon would know. Woojin really has nothing to say to that, so he just doesn’t. He looks instead.

Jihoon is still hunched over, massaging at his side. His cheeks are pink from exertion, and his eyes are shining, still a little wild from running. The thing is, his hair is a floopy bird’s nest and before Woojin realizes he’s even moved, he runs a hand through Jihoon’s hair in a valiant attempt to both touch him and fix the mess.

Straightening up, Jihoon stares heavily at him from behind his bangs. _Ah, that won’t do._ Woojin retracts his hand from Jihoon’s hair only to brush the hair away from his eyes. “What do you want to do now?” Woojin asks, dropping his voice low.

Jihoon considers this for a moment, cocking his head to the left. It’s just _so fucking cute_. They might as well start walking to the arcade anyway. It'll be busy but there are only a few Jihoon-related activities he would rather be doing right now than this. He turns with a ‘shall we?’ expression and starts to make his way down the sidewalk, but Jihoon grabs the back of his shirt, causing Woojin to stop and turn his head around. “Wha—”

As soon as he can see Jihoon, Woojin’s heart jumps into his throat. Jihoon looks determined as hell and if that wasn’t attractive enough, he's equipped a diluted version of his sex eyes. Oh.

Oh?

Jihoon grabs him lightly by the chin, more or less demanding that Woojin turn to properly face him _._  As soon as he does, Jihoon takes a half step into his space and draws his face forward for a soft, sweet kiss. Just one. A promise. Jihoon’s lips are plump and a little chapped, and the kiss tastes a little bit like medicinal chapstick but that’s fucking fine. Jihoon pulls away before a full second has passed, ending the kiss with a little hum of satisfaction and drawing away with a huge blush and an amazed little smile.

“Gotcha.” He says. 

Woojin has been conned by a baby barthief, impressed by a snake boy, and now he's been caught by Park Jihoon. 

Wasting no time he grabs Jihoon with one hand behind his neck and pulls him forward into another kiss. Woojin wraps his other arm around Jihoon’s waist, deepening the kiss and humming happily. He pulls Jihoon flush into his body and is momentarily astounded at how small he actually is. 

This deeper kissing stops only when Jihoon pushes lightly at his chest. It doesn’t feel like a rejection, especially when Jihoon keeps that hand lightly over his heart. Woojin instead presses their foreheads together before leaning back slightly.

Jihoon can’t seem to make eye contact, opting to stare at his adam’s apple instead. “A-Arcade, then?”

“Only if we get to make out in some dark corner.”

Jihoon looks up with a jolt, eyes popping out of his head a little bit, and for a moment Woojin wonders if he’s gone too far, pushed too much. To his immense relief Jihoon eventually bites his lip and nods shyly. After a second he nods again, stronger. Woojin pecks him again before grabbing his hand and starting to tug him in the direction of the arcade.

“I can’t wait to beat you at DDR.” Woojin tosses airily, swinging their joined hands in a arc as they walk.

“Oh, uh, really? You think you can? DDR isn’t about dance skill, it’s about _timing_.” Jihoon shoots back, nudging Woojin’s shoulder with his own.

Woojin squeezes his smaller hand and still doesn't really understand how they got to this point, how they created this dynamic in such a short amount of time. It feels like he accomplished something already, but there's just  _so_ much to look forward to with this beautiful little fighter.

In the end, Woojin beats Jihoon at DDR, but the two of them do manage to gather quite the crowd. Two attractive men competing at the Extreme Challenge level of difficulty practically deserves an audience. Jihoon goes on to absolutely annihilate Woojin at Deer Hunter, TNMT, and Marvel vs Capcom II.

And yes, they _do_ end up making out in some dark corner.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOU ALL THOUGHT I WOULD DETAIL THE DATE?
> 
> HOW ABOUT THREE PAGES DESCRIBING WHAT IS BASICALLY A CAR CHASE INSTEAD 
> 
> shoutout to baejin for having probably the two best lines in this fic while still talking 500% less than daehwi 
> 
> seriously thanks a trillion billion to the kudoers bookmarkers and commenters, all of you are stars, lets sail this ship, let's just keep doing this until we die okay? 
> 
> wanna one has ruined me

**Author's Note:**

> welllll now these kids are legal happy adulthood boys


End file.
